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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my girlfriend decided to treat me out to dinner and cake for my birthday. My mom felt left out and yelled at my girlfriend in an angry tirade. My girlfriend went home. I'm spending my birthday, alone in my room. FML

#21313391
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31964) - you deserved it (2392)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:18pm - misc - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter decided it'd be funny to change the time on my clock. My boss didn't think it was funny. FML

#21312494
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29807) - you deserved it (2465)

On 12/06/2014 at 11:10am - work - by graciegold95 - United States (California)

Today, I broke a glass case containing my pet scorpions. I still can't find them. FML

#21312200
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27509) - you deserved it (13887)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:32pm - animals - by sting - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor showed me footage of my 7-year-old son spraying his beloved rose garden with weed killer. The whole garden is dead as fuck, and I'm now being taken to small claims court. FML

#21311905
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32307) - you deserved it (6965)

On 12/05/2014 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while I was on a field trip with my son, my husband decided to get rid of our dog without asking anyone. Now I get to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. FML

#21311410
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33876) - you deserved it (2719)

On 12/04/2014 at 1:30pm - animals - by yolonono (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a letter in the mail from corporate saying that I'm being demoted because I don't work enough hours. I also got a text from my boss congratulating me on making the best sales numbers for November. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19009) - you deserved it (38626)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a performance. I have to go bra-less to wear my gown and I didn't want any peek-a-boos. I asked my boyfriend to bring "large band-aids" without telling him why I needed them. He brought waterproof, top-notch tough ones. They're still stuck to me, and are not coming off anytime soon. FML

#21310328
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (6154)

On 12/02/2014 at 8:14pm - misc - by smiles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

#21309848
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (4424)

On 12/02/2014 at 12:40am - intimacy - by justagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's either be alone and miserable, or go on shitty dates and be miserable. I have no other options. FML

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33443) - you deserved it (5802)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML

#21308108
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28943) - you deserved it (5886)

On 11/29/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by come on man (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to give my husband head while he played Call of Duty. I was happy because he enjoyed it at first, until he started getting his ass kicked in the game. He lost and angrily blamed me for distracting him. FML

#21306254
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36026) - you deserved it (5983)

On 11/26/2014 at 2:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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