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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was asked to go to a ball by the guy I like. The theme is masquerade. He made me a Robin mask; he's wearing a Batman mask. FML

#21021762
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (10109)

On 01/08/2014 at 7:54pm - love - by Unfortunately Me (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46068) - you deserved it (4928)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

#21019101
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41364) - you deserved it (8494)

On 01/06/2014 at 2:20pm - love - by CatLady - United States (California)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old nephew to clean up his mess of toys. He responded by kicking my foot. My bandaged foot which was still recovering from my surgery last week. I'm probably going to need another operation to fix the damage. FML

#21017302
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42439) - you deserved it (4400)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:11am - kids - by scotsgal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48263) - you deserved it (5042)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

#21014729
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35833) - you deserved it (2869)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (4122)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, I saw my sister after three days away. When I went to get in the car with her, she told me I had to sit in the back, because her teddy rides in front now. She was serious. I've already been replaced by a stuffed bear. FML

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (8909)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

#21006901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31723) - you deserved it (2674)

On 12/27/2013 at 1:40am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

#21002970
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37485) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/23/2013 at 9:48pm - love - by .... (man) - United States (California)



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