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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

#21399141
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (3561)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by anonymousyo - United States (California)

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26752) - you deserved it (3397)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (5797)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

#21397916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (2104)

On 04/22/2015 at 11:44am - work - by cock blocked (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad woke me up at 5am saying that there was dog shit on the carpet. I thought it was just a clever ruse to get me into the living room for a birthday surprise. It wasn't. There really was dog shit that I had to clean up, with no "Happy birthday"s even uttered. FML

#21397338
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (2434)

On 04/21/2015 at 8:51am - animals - by 21ShitCleaner - United States (California)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29168) - you deserved it (2896)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (6882)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27839) - you deserved it (10042)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate and I are so broke, we resorted to going to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting just for the refreshments. FML

#21395180
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (3685)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:50am - money - by jamongrande - United States (California)

Today, I had to get a colonoscopy. Which wouldn't have been so bad if they had removed the camera from my rectum before waking me up. FML

#21395025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28261) - you deserved it (1916)

On 04/17/2015 at 12:56am - health - by Camera - United States (California)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28435) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I caught our 12-year-old son "experimenting" with a 5-foot tall stuffed Mickey Mouse. He even made sure to rip Mickey's pants off. FML

#21392745
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3058)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:35am - intimacy - by bigmouthedmommy - United States (California)

Today, my 16 year old daughter convinced her little sister that I am a robot. Now every time I try to talk to her she starts crying. FML

#21392253
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27152) - you deserved it (2055)

On 04/12/2015 at 6:33am - kids - by anon - United States (California)



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