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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

#21506801
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22023) - you deserved it (3371)

On 12/23/2015 at 4:06am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were going to Applebee's. A girl we don't like invited herself along. She waited for my friend outside of the bathroom, forced her to drive her, and said, "It's okay someone will pay for me." She then ate off of everyone's plate and left before the bill came. FML

#21506364
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21350) - you deserved it (3512)

On 12/21/2015 at 9:42pm - misc - by RUFckingSrs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Dad came home with a $500 jacket that he'd bought himself for Christmas. I'd bought him the same one, and it's non refundable. FML

#21506326
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21368) - you deserved it (1550)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:52pm - money - by noononononono - United States (California)

Today, my relatives told me that when I stay at their house for the holidays, I'm no longer allowed to be out past 10 because somebody drugged my drink once. I'm a 25 year old man. FML

#21506292
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17788) - you deserved it (1660)

On 12/21/2015 at 4:50pm - misc - by letstradefamilies - United States (California)

Today, I mistook a tree in my back yard as an intruder and called the police. FML

Today, I complained about period cramps. My boyfriend said periods can't be that bad since "girls must orgasm every time they put a tampon in." FML

#21505128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24246) - you deserved it (2026)

On 12/18/2015 at 11:37am - love - by periods (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to noises from downstairs. I practically pissed my pants and called the cops. Turned out it was just my cat being a dickhead in the living room. FML

#21505083
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17824) - you deserved it (5049)

On 12/18/2015 at 6:40am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finished polishing a song I was working on for my girlfriend. The next words out of her mouth when we next spoke: "I want to break up." FML

Today, my grandma was sent to the hospital so I called out of work. My bosses told me that if I didn't come in I would be fired. I did so, only to find out they needed me there so I could close the restaurant while they left early to go to a party. FML

Today, I found out that rats have made my car their new home. I haven't even finished paying it off yet. FML

#21503794
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19394) - you deserved it (2132)

On 12/14/2015 at 9:16pm - misc - by InfestedCarOwner - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend tells me she missed her period this month. I felt excited until she said, "I will let you know the results of the paternity test." I was not aware we needed a paternity test. FML

#21503523
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29026) - you deserved it (2402)

On 12/14/2015 at 2:29am - love - by Haitwun (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents decided that the best way to save money was to dilute everything we drank with water. Only one more year of watered down soda and juice to go. FML

#21503382
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20704) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/13/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by BasicallySodaFlavoredWater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my step mom sat me down and told me that she doesn't think that my dad is my biological father because she hasn't gotten pregnant from him. I don't think she quite understands the concept of being a step mom. FML

#21502978
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22974) - you deserved it (1966)

On 12/12/2015 at 3:58pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)



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