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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36429) - you deserved it (4061)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52291) - you deserved it (7175)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

#21222525
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33829) - you deserved it (2296)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (4576)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45715) - you deserved it (3720)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40554) - you deserved it (6353)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33217) - you deserved it (8883)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

#21217343
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56411) - you deserved it (41706)

On 07/22/2014 at 1:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39981) - you deserved it (4862)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house, intending to break up with him. Instead, I was greeted by his whole family throwing me a surprise party. I had to sit and listen to his whole family talk about what a great couple we are and how we're going to last forever. FML

#21215195
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52840) - you deserved it (8141)

On 07/20/2014 at 1:59pm - love - by I Feel Horrible - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

#21211315
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39512) - you deserved it (4071)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my dog jumping on my bed and licking me all over. It would've been fine, if I hadn't woken the first time a few minutes earlier to the sight of him going to town on his balls. FML

#21210701
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33592) - you deserved it (4409)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:44am - animals - by ballbreath (woman) - United States (California)



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