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FMLs submitted from California

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53513) - you deserved it (3055)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML

#20572732
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32353) - you deserved it (11434)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:48am - love - by kenabrookee - United States (California)

Today, my cousin is visiting from Oklahoma. He can't go a minute without saying "YOLO" or "Swag". He's going to be here for a week. FML

#20572695
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37400) - you deserved it (2487)

On 04/03/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by fuck YOLO - United States (California)

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31293) - you deserved it (2884)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML

#20566415
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11412) - you deserved it (42721)

On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the money that my wife claims went into repairing her car engine actually is going towards helping her pay for a divorce. FML

#20564887
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (1981)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:37am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33165) - you deserved it (12586)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got dumped during sex. FML

#20563466
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52569) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/28/2013 at 6:02am - intimacy - by Bigfatfailure (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (3684)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

#20562040
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2991)

On 03/27/2013 at 3:29am - work - by apparentlytoougly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27281) - you deserved it (4312)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27031) - you deserved it (3072)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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