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FMLs submitted from California

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30615) - you deserved it (2238)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32587) - you deserved it (6565)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30903) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (4637)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (6146)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41399) - you deserved it (12421)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31996) - you deserved it (4911)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

#21290182
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (6478)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34000) - you deserved it (2835)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32390) - you deserved it (4480)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28160) - you deserved it (2815)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (3826)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)



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