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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML

#20982712
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43337) - you deserved it (10932)

On 12/06/2013 at 11:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got nominated to sit in a chair in the middle of the gym during a high school rally while the entire school got to throw paper balls at me. FML

#20979287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41187) - you deserved it (4218)

On 12/03/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by reallyhighschool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

#20977282
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44261) - you deserved it (19856)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being convinced that my cat had worms due to eating so much food and still looking really skinny, I found out that my neighbor secretly lets his dog in through my pet door while I'm at work. FML

#20977142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38344) - you deserved it (2507)

On 12/01/2013 at 3:27pm - animals - by HereKittyKitty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually thought of faking my own death to get away from my girlfriend and her insane, overbearing family. FML

#20974597
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44110) - you deserved it (7221)

On 11/29/2013 at 10:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML

#20971832
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38580) - you deserved it (4328)

On 11/26/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom told me that when my sister and I were born, the first thing my dad said was, "I hope they don't turn out vegetarian." I did. FML

#20971339
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36848) - you deserved it (9153)

On 11/26/2013 at 1:35pm - misc - by fack (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66972) - you deserved it (5567)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41810) - you deserved it (3326)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (85258)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML

#20965341
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45173) - you deserved it (3731)

On 11/21/2013 at 12:27am - love - by this guy - United States (California)

Today, I was cussed out by a customer who was unhappy, and he asked to speak with my manager. When I told him I owned the store, he said that that was the problem. Apparently women are "too flaky" to run a bakery properly. FML

#20964215
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41661) - you deserved it (2726)

On 11/20/2013 at 2:59am - work - by bakingwomannnnnnnn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

#20962468
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42102) - you deserved it (5720)

On 11/18/2013 at 6:47pm - animals - by Catcrap! - United States (California)



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