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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I finished part of a project. When I asked my coworkers what they thought, they said they liked one of the few things that had already been implemented almost a year ago. Thanks for noticing. FML

#1106
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12644) - you deserved it (1804)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:30am - work - by notcool - United States (California)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5548) - you deserved it (35348)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

#1008
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12072) - you deserved it (8773)

On 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm - work - by Leaving Early Fail - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49978) - you deserved it (6949)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (7876)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I have -$700 in my current account, $500 from overdraft fees because I spent money they told me I had. I don't get paid till the 15th and when I cash in my paycheck all of it will go to bringing me even. So the $9 I found in my wallet this morning will have to last me untill the 30th. FML

#984
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (4446)

On 01/12/2009 at 4:55am - money - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I regret that break we took. I thought it would lead him to realize that he wanted to stop cheating and flirting with other girls and be with only me forever. Now I'm the girl he cheats on his girlfriend with. FML

#969
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7069) - you deserved it (32768)

On 01/11/2009 at 1:08pm - love - by Celina - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with this girl I like while my girlfriend was busy. We ended up going grocery shopping to make dinner together, and I ran into my girlfriend's parents. FML

#966
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5171) - you deserved it (64015)

On 01/11/2009 at 10:50am - love - by Wreet - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

#895
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18416) - you deserved it (3172)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my car was broken into. They broke the passenger side window and took my radio system. But they didn't take the remote for it. FML

#800
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14968) - you deserved it (1806)

On 01/07/2009 at 9:28pm - misc - by Donezoo - United States (California)

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

#780
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (24549)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (4450)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

#636
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8905) - you deserved it (19545)

On 12/30/2008 at 1:00pm - misc - by MikeMoosey - United States (California)



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