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FMLs submitted from California

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59014) - you deserved it (7807)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I work for a boss who does everything he can to singlehandedly ruin our company and drive us into the ground. I just got an e-mail from him saying I need to be a more positive and energetic role-model for our team. Pot… meet Kettle. FML

#2158
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14891) - you deserved it (1887)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:45am - work - by DarkPain - United States (California)

Today, I met a girl who had a deeper voice than I do. FML

#2119
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18625) - you deserved it (3484)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by Daryll - United States (California)

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19190) - you deserved it (3159)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16595) - you deserved it (4082)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (6221)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21453) - you deserved it (1891)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

#1507
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30296) - you deserved it (6454)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by Allenburg - United States (California)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19235) - you deserved it (9035)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML

#1378
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5530) - you deserved it (20201)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by abbacjt - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

#1220
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (3900)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22057) - you deserved it (1865)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, I finished part of a project. When I asked my coworkers what they thought, they said they liked one of the few things that had already been implemented almost a year ago. Thanks for noticing. FML

#1106
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12640) - you deserved it (1804)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:30am - work - by notcool - United States (California)



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