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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37719) - you deserved it (3793)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162719) - you deserved it (47454)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

#29771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28952) - you deserved it (4597)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML

#29762
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (5554)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

#29334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15794) - you deserved it (33201)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (2522)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37469) - you deserved it (2922)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77862) - you deserved it (4737)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Mid-thrust she says "I love you, Jeremy." Then in rapid succession, she fires off 2 other names. None of the names were mine. FML

#15968
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49243) - you deserved it (3186)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:14pm - intimacy - by ADT (man) - United States (California)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63043) - you deserved it (7845)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#13743
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm - misc - by ChoirGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13076) - you deserved it (64465)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend handcuffed me to the bed, naked. Someone pulled the fire alarm, and my boyfriend couldn't find the key. So he left me, and the Resident Advisor found me. The fireman had to cut the chain. FML

#12567
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (282144) - you deserved it (51910)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:55pm - misc - by hahahehehohohoo (woman) - United States (California)



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