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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22148) - you deserved it (1719)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7168) - you deserved it (28300)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26032) - you deserved it (1459)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (2629)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

#3779
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5593) - you deserved it (38717)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by teeth - United States (California)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (5770)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25437) - you deserved it (7664)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (32926)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18423) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34370) - you deserved it (4974)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

#3037
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (5068)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

#3008
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (2584)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:38am - misc - by razzmataz - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and I'm still in the Marine Corps. FML

#2960
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15986) - you deserved it (37768)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:24am - work - by carboat - United States (California)



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