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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24819) - you deserved it (5863)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24916) - you deserved it (2921)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32113) - you deserved it (2665)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

#4321
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33103) - you deserved it (4085)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13005) - you deserved it (22233)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

Today, I was with the guy I am seeing and I were fooling around in my room. I asked him if he wanted to have sex. He said he didn't have time because he had to go play Mario Kart. FML

#4196
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (5505)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:01pm - intimacy - by Yoshi - United States (California)

Today, I am sick with a cold and I go to the most important interview of my life. A giant glob of wet snot comes out of my nose when I am expressing my desire to join their team. FML

#4150
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (1721)

On 01/31/2009 at 1:20pm - work - by Larry - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him around two minutes after that, and he had already fallen asleep. FML

#3910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7172) - you deserved it (28318)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:57pm - love - by grreeatttt - United States (California)

Today, my old man told me that he only married my mom because she convinced him she was pregnant with his child. In fact, she aborted a week later. "And then we had you instead." FML

#3898
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (1460)

On 01/30/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by crakbbyaparently - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat with my aunt and uncle, I barely looked at the male waiter because I'm a shy person. Then my uncle says: "YOU SHOULD TAKE OUT MY NIECE! She's never dated in her life." I'm 19 and my match maker is my uncle. FML

#3846
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (2630)

On 01/30/2009 at 5:08pm - love - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I meant to forward an email to my friend mocking a coworker's email, but I hit "reply" instead of "forward". FML

#3779
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5598) - you deserved it (38740)

On 01/30/2009 at 1:23pm - work - by teeth - United States (California)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23614) - you deserved it (5773)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25452) - you deserved it (7667)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)



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