Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12976) - you deserved it (17577)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, my next-door neighbor decided to become a rapper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you deserved it (1287)
On 09/16/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by MyEarsHurt - United States (California)
Today, I got mad at my parents and threatened to run away. Things got so bad that I packed a bag and left, planning to hide in my front yard to teach them a lesson. It's been two hours, and I'm still standing behind a bush in front of my house while they make no effort to look for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5754) - you deserved it (29947)
On 09/15/2012 at 11:37am - misc - by Rowan Curry - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18334) - you deserved it (1973)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17637) - you deserved it (1404)
On 09/15/2012 at 1:35am - intimacy - by anon (man) - United States (California)
Today, the gas company came to connect our stove for free. While here, they broke our hot water heater, shut it off, and issued us a hazard notice. We can fix it, but they won't be able to come back for another two weeks to turn the gas back on. We don't have any hot water until then. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14250) - you deserved it (860)
On 09/15/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (5239)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12400) - you deserved it (2166)
On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13390) - you deserved it (3095)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm - kids - by SerendipityRose - United States (California)
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (2832)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4803) - you deserved it (12214)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17322) - you deserved it (2273)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36508) - you deserved it (2906)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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