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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went to the bathroom and didn't realize my skirt was tucked in my ugliest underwear until I reached the elevator. Thanks for not telling me girl-in-the-yellow-shirt. FML

#2059
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16538) - you deserved it (4078)

On 01/21/2009 at 12:56pm - misc - by Ella - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21359) - you deserved it (1884)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, the guy I've had a crush on for a while called me and asked me over. I took a cab to his place and when I got there he was dressed in leather and wore a mask... It took me a 20 dollar cab fare to realize my crush is a freak. FML

#1507
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30169) - you deserved it (6441)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:38pm - intimacy - by Allenburg - United States (California)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19145) - you deserved it (9017)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML

#1378
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5497) - you deserved it (20126)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by abbacjt - United States (California)

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

#1220
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18477) - you deserved it (3894)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (1845)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, I finished part of a project. When I asked my coworkers what they thought, they said they liked one of the few things that had already been implemented almost a year ago. Thanks for noticing. FML

#1106
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12567) - you deserved it (1801)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:30am - work - by notcool - United States (California)

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5446) - you deserved it (34888)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, moments after leaving early, my boss emails me asking if I'm in the office. After an illegal U-turn, running a stop sign, parking in a visitor spot, and sneaking back to my desk, I find out she was locked out of the building but had since found her keys and let herself back in. FML

#1008
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11988) - you deserved it (8752)

On 01/12/2009 at 3:34pm - work - by Leaving Early Fail - United States (California)

Today, my man and I were having sex on edge of bed. We were using chocolate spread and I was riding him. When we were done, he got up and I noticed a long brown line on the edge of the bed. I knelt down to smell it. It was NOT chocolate. FML

#1001
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (6943)

On 01/12/2009 at 11:19am - intimacy - by Poopy - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29646) - you deserved it (7865)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)



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