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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

#50686
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46110) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/16/2009 at 12:45am - animals - by Ugh - United States (California)

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

#45949
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (5663)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:35am - misc - by cjk004 - United States (California)

Today, I started a fight at a lesbian bar and lost. I'm a man. FML

#45910
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14710) - you deserved it (79248)

On 02/15/2009 at 5:43am - misc - by Mofisto (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (5815)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49166) - you deserved it (7085)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

#29912
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (162616) - you deserved it (47450)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:45am - misc - by alhummel21 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

#29771
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28946) - you deserved it (4594)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by language barriers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. I said that at least I was always there for him when he needed me. He said "When did I need you?" FML

#29762
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (5553)

On 02/12/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by rainyday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when I tried on a pair of pants at the mall, I asked the salesperson if I could have the next size up. She informed me that there wasn't a next size up. I have to LOSE weight to fit into the biggest pair of pants the store makes. FML

#29334
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15791) - you deserved it (33187)

On 02/12/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by ardenm - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom, "I love you". She responded with, "What? I never told you I loved you." FML

#26936
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40876) - you deserved it (2460)

On 02/11/2009 at 6:57pm - misc - by chee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom I loved her and she asked if I was going to kill myself. FML

#18155
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2921)

On 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm - misc - by TGIkaty - United States (California)

Today, I found a used condom and wrapper in the bathroom trash can at my girlfriends house. The condom is not a brand I've ever used. She lives alone. FML

#17496
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77845) - you deserved it (4734)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:32pm - misc - by Sal (man) - United States (California)



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