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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
457 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37237) - you deserved it (82920)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128434) - you deserved it (6813)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (43760)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (11663)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

#193676
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51574) - you deserved it (3385)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:26am - work - by nicooolea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12766) - you deserved it (49037)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17011) - you deserved it (60547)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

#180763
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54854) - you deserved it (4494)

On 03/02/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Not Jewish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

#180458
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47651) - you deserved it (18899)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:24am - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17038) - you deserved it (42187)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML

#176677
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41327) - you deserved it (4291)

On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)

Today, I borrowed a van to move some of my furniture. I wasn't used to the brakes so when I stopped at a red light, I pretty much ended up in the cross walk. Suddenly I heard a loud thud at the side of the van. I turned to see what idiot would walk into a van. It was a blind man. FML

#174723
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13793) - you deserved it (46408)

On 03/01/2009 at 8:09pm - misc - by jazojigga (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

#170978
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46633) - you deserved it (157476)

On 03/01/2009 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by thissucks (woman) - United States (California)



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