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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

#217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41029) - you deserved it (14255)

On 03/05/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by ohnolunch - United States (California)

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

#213399
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36961) - you deserved it (11516)

On 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by a person - United States (California)

Today, I went to the jewelry store to sell my wedding ring after a long and painful divorce. The shop owner took one look at it and called the cops because I tried to sell him a diamond ring that had been stolen from him 3 years ago. My ex-husband left the country a week ago. FML

#209556
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69157) - you deserved it (2850)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:42pm - misc - by ringmaster101 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233620) - you deserved it (30981)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

#204455
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48089) - you deserved it (13820)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:05am - money - by gonkc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while getting off the bus, there was a lady in front of me wearing a dress and suddenly her phone dropped out of her bag. I picked up the phone for her which landed right beneath her dress and as she turned around she thought I was trying to take pictures of her panties and slapped me. FML

#204015
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (4158)

On 03/04/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by AznKoreanGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother patched up my $300, vintage, limited edition, designer jeans because she thought I'd accidentally ripped them. FML

#203751
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36870) - you deserved it (82338)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:40am - money - by ch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (128348) - you deserved it (6809)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9780) - you deserved it (43741)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a parked car. I was walking. To make the scene more embarrassing, the car alarm shocked me and I backed up quickly into the parking meter, knocking me down once more. FML

#193845
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39103) - you deserved it (11661)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:22am - misc - by tracelee - United States (California)

Today, the 75 year old blinding owner of the bar I work at called me over and told me to fire "Rachel, the stupid c**t after the next wrong thing she does". My name is Rachel. FML

#193676
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51045) - you deserved it (3328)

On 03/03/2009 at 3:26am - work - by nicooolea (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML

#185319
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12762) - you deserved it (49006)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm - animals - by pacificbeach - United States (California)

Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML

#185053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17003) - you deserved it (60527)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)



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