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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended he loudly complained to his friends about the annoying girl sitting next to him. FML

#1635013
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8162) - you deserved it (96354)

On 05/04/2009 at 5:56pm - love - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mom if she thought I was straight. She looked at me and said "Well, that's really up to you honey. But your father and I would still love you." I was asking if she thought I had parked straight. FML

#1625172
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49097) - you deserved it (11561)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
516 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102648) - you deserved it (274515)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I donated blood for the first time, and all the nurses kept complimenting on how good my veins were. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me in the past 2 months. FML

#1614849
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51612) - you deserved it (4038)

On 05/04/2009 at 12:40am - health - by lsta (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the gym and I saw a really cute guy working out nearby. I tried to get his attention by taking off my shirt and smiling at him. When he walked over to me, instead of asking for my number, he just said "Can you please put that back on? Thanks". FML

#1607608
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17195) - you deserved it (51693)

On 05/03/2009 at 8:36pm - misc - by Gjkashldf (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23521) - you deserved it (83054)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finished my SAT and was feeling pretty good about it. I decided to turn on my phone, since it was on silent. As the guy was collecting our tests, my phone vibrated a little. My score was cancelled. It was a text from my mom reminding me to turn off my phone. FML

#1563440
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19544) - you deserved it (79067)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML

Today, a girl called me asking for one of her friends. She wouldn't believe me when I told her she had the wrong number, and I spent a few minutes convincing her she did. After a while she said "what the fuck" and hung up. That was the longest conversation I had with a girl in months. FML

#1500727
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56703) - you deserved it (8460)

On 04/30/2009 at 7:08pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my paternal grandfather for the first time. I’ve spent the last three months tracking him down. I poured my heart out and told about how much this meant to me. He told me I had a nice rack and asked for a cigarette. FML

#1475511
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81881) - you deserved it (8033)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by cgold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a haircut. Right after the lady finished washing my hair she grabbed a towel to wipe her nose. She then used the same towel to thoroughly dry my hair. FML

#1449729
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70820) - you deserved it (4511)

On 04/29/2009 at 5:40am - health - by Mars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML

#1444188
454 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55134) - you deserved it (10538)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

#1444168
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (93071) - you deserved it (8183)

On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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