Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (4129)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19386) - you deserved it (2126)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11146) - you deserved it (10022)
On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19785) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18070) - you deserved it (2814)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14723) - you deserved it (4941)
On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been seeing another girl behind my back. The kicker is that he told her I was his lazy sister and had just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16062) - you deserved it (1184)
On 09/29/2012 at 1:38am - love - by thatonegirl.SBS. - United States (California)
Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16860) - you deserved it (1539)
On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband of five years left me for a woman ten years older than himself who lives nine hours away. He met her online two weeks ago while playing Call of Duty. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23074) - you deserved it (1532)
On 09/27/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by strawberrywine22 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11796) - you deserved it (3266)
On 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm - work - by MLAA (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (1086)
On 09/24/2012 at 12:32am - misc - by Hello Nurse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after weeks of dealing with a bad hair cut, my hair finally grew back to my preferred length. Today is also the day my roommate replaced my shampoo with hair remover as a prank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16968) - you deserved it (908)
On 09/23/2012 at 4:14am - misc - by Hairless freak - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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