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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I came to school late because I had to drop off my daughter at school. When I got on campus, the security told me I was late but I said, "Oh no, I work here." and he said, "Oh like I haven't heard that one before." And he took me to detention. My boss, the Principal, had to bail me out. FML

#94927
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42117) - you deserved it (2590)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:22am - work - by Lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (21530)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)

Today, after class, my teacher pulled me aside and said "You know, I never received the e-mail regarding your disabilities that your parents mentioned. Could you have them resend it?" What disabilities? FML

#85475
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44826) - you deserved it (2063)

On 02/20/2009 at 1:16am - work - by Jedi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Macy's to go shopping, I was wearing a shirt and tie and dressed nicely. Customers came up to me with questions, but I just ignored them. Minutes later, thinking I was an employee, the manager came and yelled at me, and threatened to fire me. FML

#85022
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37944) - you deserved it (10177)

On 02/20/2009 at 12:27am - work - by muffinmen1022 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

#82135
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (7600)

On 02/19/2009 at 8:39pm - love - by Skido (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

#77446
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39198) - you deserved it (26438)

On 02/19/2009 at 11:57am - work - by AbsolutelyEffed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my brother in jail for the first time. I didn't know what to say so I blurted out : "Are you having fun ?" FML

#76277
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (37721)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by cynicalcindy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13165) - you deserved it (23700)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31954) - you deserved it (14630)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

#70171
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39293) - you deserved it (7487)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by mediocreboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

#70124
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (49721)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by swtkiss1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my friend across campus, and I decided that I wanted to play a trick on her and scare her from behind. Turns out, I scared a complete stranger with really bad panic induced asthma. FML

#59474
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9065) - you deserved it (35576)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:25am - misc - by boo! (woman) - United States (California)



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