FMLs submitted from California

Today, after working and saving up money for an entire year, I bought a 2001 VW Cabrio. I showed it to my friends, they all laughed at me and told me it was a girl's car. FML

by giantsfan2010 / 09/23/2010 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

by anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 1:38am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I was bored so I started to doodle on MS paint. My boss walks by and asks me to join him in his office. When I do so, he fires me for drawing offensive material. I drew a rainbow. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2010 at 4:28am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Health

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2010 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Money

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

by whatabitch / 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a call from this girl I really like. Surprised, as I never get anything other than a text from her, I answered. All I heard were rustling sounds. She had pocket dialed me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2010 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

by Jackie / 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

by Anonymous / 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2010 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Kids