Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee , thinking he was Mr. Macho , flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out an ended up screaming an pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids an there families. FML

#4097129
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49034) - you deserved it (9332)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY, IT WAS A PRETTY NICE DAY SO I DECIDD I WOULD TAKE A WALK THROUGH THE PARK TO GET TO WORK INSTEAD OF DRIVING. HEALTHIER AN BETTER FIR THE PLANET, RIGHT? WRONG. SOME LITTLE BRATTY KIDS WERE BORD APPARENTLY AN DECIDD TO HIDE BEHIND TREES AN PEG ME WITH WATER BALLOONS. FML

#4074365
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36643) - you deserved it (3646)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:35am - misc - by waterballoons (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was checking out my boyfriend's facebook profile. I saw that he had just taken the "How long will it take for your girldriend to realize you're cheating on her?" Quiz. mega FML

#4034087
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49408) - you deserved it (5227)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today.. . mah 9 year old niece askd me if I was a virgin . I told her.. . "Yes.. . I'm saving myself until marriage" . She replid.. . "That's a load of bullshit.. . you just can't get a guy!" Sadly.. . she's right . FML

#4025974
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48330) - you deserved it (8190)

On 07/25/2009 at 5:55am - kids - by Kimberly (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was in an elevator with mah dad an several strangers. When the elevator voice said , ( Going down , ) mah dad excitedly said , ( Man , I love it when she says that! ) loudly enough 4 everyone to hear. FML

#4000566
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40440) - you deserved it (4182)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today I discovered looool my 18 year old son has been peieng on the carpethen he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat.

#3998492
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72320) - you deserved it (7181)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw an elderly man struggling to make it acros a busy street. I jumped up from my table at Starbuck to elp im, leaving my ting beind. Wen I got back to my table feeling good, I found tat my coffee ad disappeared. So ad my wallet. FML

#3971332
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (23488)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I was driving on the freewayhen I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friend died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysteric an a cop came to seehat was wrong. I explainedhat happened an he gave me a ticket for talking on the phonehile driving. FML

#3951718
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101716) - you deserved it (15919)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's alway wantd , Ireland. Right before my gift , he had opend his mother's gift , an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML

#3949240
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44809) - you deserved it (4475)

On 07/22/2009 at 4:11am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The frst words mah friend say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? ( Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying. ) FML

#3947588
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46367) - you deserved it (26775)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stoppd at a house an told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I lookd at the last text an it says ( I'm ere 4 the quicky ). Our ( date ) was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy.

#3877886
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66581) - you deserved it (4418)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS WAITING IN LINE WITH A FRIEND, AND SHE POKED MAH STOMACH AND SAID, "I WISH I HAD YOUR STOMACH." I ASKED HER WHY. SHE SAID, "BOYS WOULDN'T FLRT WITH ME." FML

#3872340
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45583) - you deserved it (4912)

On 07/19/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Pusillanimous (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: