Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, after being a stay-at-home mom and picking up after my kids for the past 15 years, I got a job rejection letter saying I wasn't qualified. It was a housekeeping position. FML

#5354989
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (3854)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by HousekeeperNoMore (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

#5354968
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71736) - you deserved it (3765)

On 09/19/2009 at 5:04pm - misc - by weddingcrashed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me to take some of the female mannequins and change the outfits. As I was changing them, I realized that this was the most action I've gotten in almost a year. Not only am I twenty-seven, but I'm married. FML

#5346939
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23310) - you deserved it (3252)

On 09/19/2009 at 4:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59158) - you deserved it (3158)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

#5345779
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43915) - you deserved it (4084)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37520) - you deserved it (35564)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7100) - you deserved it (46271)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

#5313361
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23454) - you deserved it (6144)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by RahiYeah09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53179) - you deserved it (2281)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm on wage garnishment because my mother, who took out a student loan for me back in '05, didn't pay off the $2015 owed when she said she would. I got screwed over financially because of her. FML

#5308756
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30687) - you deserved it (8795)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:32am - money - by MochiMomoChan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42813) - you deserved it (3654)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (50894)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6835) - you deserved it (54410)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: