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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

#20939479
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46704) - you deserved it (3504)

On 10/30/2013 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML

#20939123
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45253) - you deserved it (7769)

On 10/30/2013 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by goodgrief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 13-year-old daughter thinks the showerhead got her pregnant. FML

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45014) - you deserved it (3126)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

#20935219
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36560) - you deserved it (2338)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a friend sent me to a guy he knows who repairs various electronics for a very low price. Good news: he fixed my malfunctioning iPad. Bad news: it took me several hours to notice that he'd carved the words DOUCHE and HIPSTER into the back panel. FML

#20934676
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36312) - you deserved it (6987)

On 10/26/2013 at 3:48pm - money - by fuckyouverymuch - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48891) - you deserved it (4778)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, the family upstairs decided to play basketball. Indoors. At 3am. FML

#20928702
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40170) - you deserved it (2755)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42308) - you deserved it (6310)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37561) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a nude picture. I would have been fine with it if he hadn't taken it in his ex-girlfriend's room. FML

#20925937
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52468) - you deserved it (4196)

On 10/19/2013 at 1:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (38682)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend cut my hair. I soon went from having a 'fro to looking like I lost a fight with a lawn mower. FML

#20923915
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31433) - you deserved it (15868)

On 10/17/2013 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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