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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boss called me to say that I've been slow at work this week and that I will be replaced if I don't pick up the pace. That would be understandable, if I didn't have a broken ankle and pneumonia. FML

#21464590
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23550) - you deserved it (1501)

On 09/04/2015 at 5:56pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had an extreme panic attack in the middle of class. I interrupted another person's presentation, burst into tears, and ran out of class whilst everyone looked at me. FML

#21464524
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23250) - you deserved it (3259)

On 09/04/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by siddance - United States (California)

Today, I showed my daughter video footage from a security camera that showed her using her employee key to enter the store I own, disarming the alarm, and stealing several very valuable items. Her defense? That someone had "photoshopped" the video. We'll see how that goes down in court. FML

#21464501
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29077) - you deserved it (2685)

On 09/04/2015 at 1:01pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

#21464468
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24944) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:30am - misc - by fuckyoudeadgunnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got a hold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible". He was referring to me. FML

#21464364
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27841) - you deserved it (2109)

On 09/04/2015 at 12:40am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to create another signature. I have to use one at the bank and the other around my mother, so that when she tries to cash my paychecks the bank won't let her. FML

#21464185
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (1705)

On 09/03/2015 at 3:54pm - misc - by Why - United States (California)

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

#21463909
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28070) - you deserved it (1627)

On 09/02/2015 at 9:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a customer service guy called to fix a problem I've been having with my phone. When it transpired that he couldn't help, he transferred me to another representative. This other representative ended up being a John Deere dealer in Michigan. FML

#21463522
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20272) - you deserved it (1424)

On 09/01/2015 at 10:26pm - misc - by NotBuyingATractor (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss told me that the company will be hiring a programmer for our department. I had the idea for the position when we went over my 3-year career path last month, but it wasn't approved. I now get to look over résumés from other people applying for my dream job. FML

#21463347
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23092) - you deserved it (1500)

On 09/01/2015 at 11:30am - work - by Not a programmer yet (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

#21462817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26134) - you deserved it (1577)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:50am - work - by bgierczak2 - United States (California)

Today, I watered a dying communal plant. I was fined $250 for littering. FML

#21462582
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (1648)

On 08/30/2015 at 1:46pm - misc - by Waterer - United States (California)

Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML

#21462044
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27943) - you deserved it (1958)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:28am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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