Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find that while I was passed out someone stole my prosthetic leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (4083)
On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17103) - you deserved it (1295)
On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12915) - you deserved it (2894)
On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a stray dog came up to my living room window. My pitbull went into attack mode and tried to jump through said window, while it was closed. Now I have to pay to replace the window, and pay to get stitches for my idiot dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14060) - you deserved it (5352)
On 11/07/2012 at 4:30pm - animals - by Drafty (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at a red light, my mom started to tell me that she and my dad hadn't had sex in months, that they "probably won't bounce back from this one," and are most likely getting a divorce. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15673) - you deserved it (940)
On 11/06/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by rastamerican - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26847) - you deserved it (2263)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)
Today, while I was cleaning out my son's room, I came across his diary. Opening it out of curiosity, I found ramblings about how blacks, Jews, and other "inferior breeds" should be forcibly sterilized "for the common good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19917) - you deserved it (6137)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Ugh - United States (California)
Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21339) - you deserved it (4364)
On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (1000)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18148) - you deserved it (2104)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14676) - you deserved it (6597)
On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21011) - you deserved it (2130)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:42pm - intimacy - by SadExperiment (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21332) - you deserved it (4081)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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