FMLs submitted from California

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

by jacky tu / 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

by ziatenaj / 10/15/2010 at 6:52am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

by Casey / 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

by tman / 10/14/2010 at 4:24am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

by Anon / 10/14/2010 at 4:00am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fainted because of a condition I have. My husband, who was standing right there, failed to catch me because he didn't want to drop his yogurt. FML

by anon / 10/12/2010 at 5:52pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a foul smell while on elliptical machine. I figured it was the little old lady on the machine next to me. It was so bad I had to leave. When I got in my truck, I realized the smell had followed me. It was me. My cat had pissed on my workout clothes. FML

by cdubb27 / 10/11/2010 at 2:00am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out my boyfriend is an active member of the suicide forum. He told me I should make an account too. FML

by lightblue / 10/10/2010 at 12:33am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I got a zero on my math test. My teacher was convinced that I had written the answers on my arm. No answers, just really thick, black arm hair. FML

by Sean / 10/09/2010 at 4:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband told me the reason he'd been meeting his high school sweetheart behind my back and lying about where he was was out of respect for me. He thinks I'm ungrateful for not appreciating the lengths he's gone to to hide this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 4:00pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was in the elevator with my new boss. He asked things like "How are you?" "How's your day going?" and "What's for dinner?" I answered everything and tried to make small talk. I then noticed that he was wearing a bluetooth and was talking to someone else. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 5:41am / United States (California) / Work