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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (32506)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

#5645796
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37703) - you deserved it (3355)

On 10/04/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by walker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML

#5622271
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38870) - you deserved it (5783)

On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping my friend pack her carry on for her vacation. I drove her to the airport, and after her plane took off, I noticed I put my cell phone in her purse. Her vacation is 2 months long. FML

#5621142
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14710) - you deserved it (29972)

On 10/03/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

#5618503
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13890) - you deserved it (29518)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

#5609665
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (16547)

On 10/02/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by jacked (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to the realization that the 2-hour nap I wanted to take before I went out with my friends last night was actually a 12-hour nap. I missed everything. FML

#5579967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13944) - you deserved it (31325)

On 10/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Ataraxia (man) - United States (California) - moderated by Kevin Nealon

Today, I took my boyfriend out to meet my coworkers for the first time. I really wanted to impress them, and get them to think how cool we are to hang out with, since I am new to LA. Instead, my boyfriend threw up in my boss' sink. FML

#5570126
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (4460)

On 09/30/2009 at 6:35pm - work - by never_ending_hangover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working an 11 hour shift, I decided to treat myself to a delicious Krispy Kreme doughnut. When I got home, I sat down, put my feet up, poured myself a cold glass of milk. My dog jumps on my lap and vomits all over my doughnuts, stares at me then bites the doughnut out of my hand. FML

#5522112
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40833) - you deserved it (5000)

On 09/28/2009 at 2:41am - animals - by Heww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML

#5506642
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (39716)

On 09/27/2009 at 2:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38403) - you deserved it (3091)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49522) - you deserved it (3854)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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