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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

#2710099
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58147) - you deserved it (7700)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:05am - love - by aasatt22 - United States (California)

Today, I came home and found my desk devoid of all paper. Turned out my mom dropped by and wanted to surprise me by cleaning up my work area. She threw away over 7 months worth of irreplaceable original sketches, notes and storylines, thinking they were worthless. My job is a full-time artist. FML

#2701716
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63238) - you deserved it (3264)

On 06/07/2009 at 8:17pm - work - by Kilika (man) - United States (California)

Today, was teacher appreciation day at my school. They played a slideshow of all the teachers. The students cheered wildly for every teacher. When my picture came up, nobody clapped. The whole room was quiet. FML

#2693631
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53810) - you deserved it (24264)

On 06/07/2009 at 3:21pm - kids - by Ignatius (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called over my math teacher to ask a question. I have a really bad cold. I asked him about a problem and he reached over my desk to point at the diagram and explain it. Then I suddenly had to sneeze and I got tons of snot all over his hand and arm. FML

#2664358
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43085) - you deserved it (9155)

On 06/06/2009 at 4:16pm - health - by lft (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at the hospital, I had a patient with a blocked bowel. It was so bad, feces were entering into her stomach. While leaning down to talk with her, she threw up. I was both vomited and defecated on at the same time. FML

#2593588
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64193) - you deserved it (3589)

On 06/04/2009 at 8:07am - work - by Mew (man) - United States (California)

Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML

#2589688
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (2037)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:33am - love - by xXitslolaXX - United States (California)

Today, I got a parking ticket. I put the ticket in my bag and accidentally left the bag in my friends car. When I returned, the car window was smashed, my bag was gone. I had to call the police department and ask them to send me a new ticket, on top of the $1000 or so I'd already lost. FML

#2587369
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41290) - you deserved it (5316)

On 06/04/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

#2565972
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46286) - you deserved it (15342)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm - kids - by psychortiz (man) - United States (California)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18133) - you deserved it (55612)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

#2551130
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (8998)

On 06/02/2009 at 10:08pm - kids - by babybreath (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

#2532710
1165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82403) - you deserved it (219427)

On 06/02/2009 at 2:03pm - animals - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States (California)



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