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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27613) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21391) - you deserved it (13704)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

#10750179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28259) - you deserved it (4301)

On 05/25/2010 at 2:54am - love - by Ouchhh (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39576) - you deserved it (6501)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32590) - you deserved it (3041)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22345) - you deserved it (11022)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34319) - you deserved it (3048)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (26983)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

#10446068
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7597) - you deserved it (51213)

On 05/10/2010 at 1:28am - work - by drewig - United States (California)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41414) - you deserved it (5611)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28181) - you deserved it (4723)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29238) - you deserved it (5470)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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