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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went shopping at a thrift store. I found a really cute top that fit me perfectly, so I bought it. Afterwards, I noticed the original tag was still on it. It read: "designed with your pregnancy in mind". It was a maternity top. FML

#3096016
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38560) - you deserved it (13639)

On 06/21/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

#3091198
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76464) - you deserved it (4629)

On 06/21/2009 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by picaru (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from an amazing cruise to find that my house broken into. My best friend apparently decided to invite her drug addicted friends into my home while I was away where they stole 172$ and my migraine pills, which are non-refillable. I now have a migraine. FML

#3083208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45575) - you deserved it (4907)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:09am - money - by myheadhurts (man) - United States (California)

Today, was my boyfriend's birthday. He wanted a blowjob while playing Call of Duty 4. In typical gamer fashion, he slammed his controller down when he died. Into my head. FML

#3078421
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59371) - you deserved it (25651)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:16am - intimacy - by jinxofsocal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I left my grandmother's burial to take a midterm. Earlier I e-mailed the professor to ask permission to take it later, and she flat out said "no." I left my grieving family, and traveled hours back to school. I went to class, only to discover that the prof decided to move the exam date. FML

#3069327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (2062)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:20pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

#3050624
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47121) - you deserved it (2433)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:28am - health - by sleepless (man) - United States (California)

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

#3040263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41330) - you deserved it (2155)

On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I looked through my girlfriend's phone book and saw two entries with my name. One had "(cute)" attached to it. I checked to see if it was my number. It wasn't. FML

#3036778
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38735) - you deserved it (4778)

On 06/19/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said "As long as its not a spa day. that would suck I would never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

#2997595
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36736) - you deserved it (23583)

On 06/18/2009 at 2:34pm - love - by Lvdkinda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding my bike down a road I know is quite hazardous. Having almost been hit in the same spot the day before, I rode across the intersection very satisfied without having been injured. Until I crashed into the guy front of me and flipped over my handlebars. FML

#2984758
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9485) - you deserved it (39040)

On 06/18/2009 at 1:31am - health - by ihpgolj (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took home my grandpa's ashes. I then went out with my grandma, leaving my 5-year-old at home with my 12-year-old. When I got home, my beaming 5-year-old opened the door, covered in white powder. My grandmother asked where all the powder had come from. She pointed to the empty ashbox. FML

#2980433
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43747) - you deserved it (16079)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:40pm - love - by fcnk (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML

#2975022
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51615) - you deserved it (4396)

On 06/17/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by automaticfail_00 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

#2963947
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28628) - you deserved it (6046)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:12am - health - by Broken (man) - United States (California)



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