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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33424) - you deserved it (36265)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19984) - you deserved it (60849)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

#11387354
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38050) - you deserved it (5136)

On 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

#11325945
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30258) - you deserved it (13199)

On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43600) - you deserved it (28545)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14465) - you deserved it (37384)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

#11211630
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44814) - you deserved it (5458)

On 06/15/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Mamasboyhater - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

#11209991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43069) - you deserved it (15299)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:11am - love - by milkybear (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15529) - you deserved it (48467)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42336) - you deserved it (7198)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

#10935757
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34016) - you deserved it (5449)

On 06/03/2010 at 12:47am - love - by sincerely - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38921) - you deserved it (4987)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)



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