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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

#2931703
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9324) - you deserved it (79369)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by idiotfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my parents for the first time in 11 weeks. They commented on how much weight I lost. I told how due to stress, I hadn't been able to eat anything for the past two weeks and I was basically unintentionally starving myself. They told me to keep it up. FML

#2909959
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48587) - you deserved it (4923)

On 06/15/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by need2eat - United States (California)

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally 2 seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

#2907219
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70589) - you deserved it (13487)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an electric shaver hoping that it would reduce the risk of cutting myself than shaving with a manual one. However, I cut myself opening the plastic package with the shaver inside. FML

#2906195
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34605) - you deserved it (12333)

On 06/15/2009 at 4:51am - misc - by shaverguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family was discussing the new rules of the house we are moving in. They told my sister she couldn't have any boys in her room. They didn't tell me I couldn't have any girls in my room. Even my parents think I can't get a girlfriend. FML

#2885124
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38489) - you deserved it (4440)

On 06/14/2009 at 1:20pm - misc - by FML1994 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I were walking past a bar. There were a few cute guys "rating" every girl that walked by with number cards. My friend, who is a guy, got an 8. I got a 2. FML

#2873732
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39057) - you deserved it (3886)

On 06/14/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by number2 - United States (California)

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

#2867834
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43476) - you deserved it (9605)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Today, I thought my face was breaking out with pimples, and I thought it was weird because I never break out. And I noticed all these "bug bites" all over my body. When I got home, I realized those weren't bug bites. I have chicken pox, and my high school graduation is tomorrow. FML

#2819083
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57725) - you deserved it (3137)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:06am - health - by angela (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML

#2773226
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6737) - you deserved it (69550)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by LetsMakeLove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

#2765293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44925) - you deserved it (2334)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a Dodger game with my crush. Between innings, the "Kiss cam" came up on the big screen. The camera happened to land on us, and when my crush saw us on the screen, he leaned away from me and buried his face in his hands. Everyone saw, and sympathetically said "Awww." FML

#2763801
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53729) - you deserved it (3139)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:38am - misc - by dodgerkiss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. Clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML

#2763386
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43552) - you deserved it (3464)

On 06/10/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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