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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

#4774290
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (18336)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

#4760219
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30871) - you deserved it (12078)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49699) - you deserved it (6011)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60845) - you deserved it (5464)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18753) - you deserved it (45730)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

#4655713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7722) - you deserved it (38285)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46689) - you deserved it (4605)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14289) - you deserved it (36719)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

#4644614
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36735) - you deserved it (5714)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by lakatkat - United States (California)

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

#4617749
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49361) - you deserved it (3477)

On 08/18/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by thedd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

#4590136
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53024) - you deserved it (4926)

On 08/17/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by somebodyelse (woman) - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

#4585306
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40734) - you deserved it (5236)

On 08/16/2009 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by missingcharlie (woman) - United States (California)



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