Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boss asked me how my parents' divorce affected me as a child. This is a sensitive subject, but I thought he was trying to connect with me so I told him how much it hurt. Turns out he wants to leave his wife and wanted to know if his kids would turn out "messed up" because of it. FML

#4850742
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (2560)

On 08/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of a year. A guy starts hitting on her while I'm sitting right next to her. He then asks her to go back to his place for some fun, I start laughing thinking that there is no chance she would even consider this. I walked home alone. FML

#4844745
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57331) - you deserved it (7811)

On 08/26/2009 at 8:37pm - love - by lonelyboy101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered a bunch of emails from my old account that weren't forwarded to my new one. Because of this, I missed a job offer and all the emails from my long distance boyfriend asking if he could visit. I still don't have a job and I broke up with him because he "failed to communicate." FML

#4829137
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17510) - you deserved it (46179)

On 08/26/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by technologyfail (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my 5 year old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

#4803668
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38305) - you deserved it (2464)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Stripperofthemall - United States (California)

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

#4774290
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29577) - you deserved it (18323)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my little brother. He was looking at me and says "so cool." I asked him what was so cool and he says "it's not that cool but, your eyebrow connects to your other eyebrow". FML

#4760219
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30841) - you deserved it (12071)

On 08/23/2009 at 3:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

#4736198
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49648) - you deserved it (6006)

On 08/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by doomed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had my sweet sixteen party. All my best friends came to the microphone to make a little speech. When my boyfriend came to do his, he broke up with me. FML

#4687327
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60793) - you deserved it (5461)

On 08/20/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by 16isntsweet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18738) - you deserved it (45691)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought I saw a snake while I was watering. I got my son to check it out and he agreed too. I was nervous so I called animal control, and they said it would cost $50 just for them to come out, I agreed. It ends up I paid $50 for them to pick up an old diamond weave farmer's hat. FML

#4655713
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7710) - you deserved it (38251)

On 08/19/2009 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at WalMart, I saw a guy taping a sign that read "Hide and seek world champs!" over the lost children board. I chased him out of the store, then came back to take it down. As I was trying to remove the sign, a huge crowd began cursing at me and threatening me. They thought I'd made the sign. FML

#4651060
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46636) - you deserved it (4605)

On 08/19/2009 at 6:32am - misc - by Dude (man) - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station I work a lady called wanting to know the "password" and if I was okay. Thinking it was a prank I hung up. A couple of minutes later she called back, this time asking if I could see the cops outside and telling me I'd be alright. I saw four of 'em. I'd hit the silent alarm by accident. FML

#4649548
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (36683)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:53am - work - by Keldar (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

#4644614
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36697) - you deserved it (5709)

On 08/19/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by lakatkat - United States (California)



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: