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FMLs submitted from California

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML

#21466659
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25701) - you deserved it (2404)

On 09/09/2015 at 9:15pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I drove to school and arrived early to find a parking spot. I found one close to the school, checked the signs, and thought, "Street cleaning is Wednesday. It's okay to park here since it's Tuesday." Being thrown off a day by Labor Day on Monday, I came back to a ticket on my windshield. FML

Today, I was driving down a completely empty street when a cop pulled me over for no reason at all. When he approached my window, I began to get defensive until he informed me I was driving the wrong way down a one way street. FML

#21466572
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9751) - you deserved it (22819)

On 09/09/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to reach for a long piece of lint next to my dryer. It was a snake. FML

#21466401
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25144) - you deserved it (2164)

On 09/09/2015 at 3:34am - animals - by StillLoveMyDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was let go from my dream job for requesting Photoshop as well as Illustrator. I was hired to create marketing materials. Guess I should have just used Paint. FML

#21466351
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23179) - you deserved it (1522)

On 09/08/2015 at 11:34pm - work - by :'( - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

#21466231
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20555) - you deserved it (2497)

On 09/08/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by supersplatoon - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor pointed to me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

#21465314
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (7430)

On 09/06/2015 at 4:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while working at a wedding reception, I caught a couple getting touchy in the back of the room, but I swept it under the rug. Apparently, they didn't like getting caught, and reported me to my boss, claiming sexual harassment. I now have to attend social sensitivity training once a week. FML

Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML

#21465068
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24054) - you deserved it (1989)

On 09/06/2015 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother got a job as an Uber driver. Now, whenever I need a ride from him, he insists I pay him money through the app. FML

#21465043
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (3126)

On 09/05/2015 at 11:11pm - misc - by _guy_j (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

#21464906
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24779) - you deserved it (7657)

On 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by ManderDander (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho cat stood on my toilet seat and challenged me to a stand-off. After 10 minutes, I couldn't hold it in any more and asked to use my neighbor's bathroom instead. I told him my toilet was broken. FML

#21464765
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19588) - you deserved it (9364)

On 09/05/2015 at 1:56am - animals - by I'm a pussy, yeah yeah (woman) - United States (California)



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