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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went to the eye doctor. He tells me that I've developed a severe allergy to contact lenses and must stop wearing them immediately. It wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't just visited him a week earlier, paid for a new prescription and ordered a year's worth of brand new lenses. FML

#4507995
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38753) - you deserved it (3493)

On 08/13/2009 at 7:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I rented a car that has a smart key. The proximity of the key determines if the doors will unlock. I went to a meeting and returned to the car with the trunk popped open and all my luggage gone. The rental company decided to store a spare key in the glovebox for safe keeping. FML

#4494514
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41127) - you deserved it (2790)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:42am - work - by NoKeyNoCar - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting 3 toddlers. I wanted to entertain them by making them laugh, but nothing worked. Later on, I started down the stairs, but tripped and tumbled down. I realized I have broken my arm and bruised my knees. I also realized that kids think it's hilarious when you get injured. FML

#4491139
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (4177)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:32am - kids - by ouch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

#4486771
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (5589)

On 08/12/2009 at 10:01pm - misc - by OMGWTF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

#4486417
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3846)

On 08/12/2009 at 9:47pm - work - by Jobless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

#4483949
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (3788)

On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

#4467592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38422) - you deserved it (11433)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:20am - misc - by ohdang (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home on leave from a 7 month deployment to Iraq. I wanted to see my girlfriend today, but she needed to spend time with her sick grandmother. As it turns out, her sick grandmother and my cousin are the same person. FML

#4467234
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55528) - you deserved it (3059)

On 08/12/2009 at 2:01am - love - by FUSMC (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML

#4460774
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53268) - you deserved it (2818)

On 08/11/2009 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was late for a medical school seminar and test. An SUV flipped over on the highway right in front of me. I held pressure to gushing, lacerated artery until EMS arrived. He lived, but I might have to repeat the whole year because I missed a big test. The test? Emergency response medicine. FML

#4459199
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62351) - you deserved it (2582)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:58pm - work - by doctorchick (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went ice skating for my friend's birthday. We had to vacate the skating rink so that they could smooth out the rink for the next session. I don't know how to skate and my friends left me. Not only was I the last one out of the rink, but I had to crawl my way out with everyone laughing. FML

#4450231
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39022) - you deserved it (5374)

On 08/11/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by elmangy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

#4445744
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12967) - you deserved it (40227)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

#4443925
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46233) - you deserved it (21119)

On 08/11/2009 at 2:40am - love - by JazzSpazz (man) - United States (California)



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