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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38905) - you deserved it (4031)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (4640)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27421) - you deserved it (3329)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

#6253497
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Saphira (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my neighbor ordered parking tickets for everyone on the block. My car was 4 inches into his driveway, but not obstructing his exit in any way. That didn't stop him from calling in, on a Sunday, at 8 AM, an 88 dollar ticket. He also left a note "Your parking sucks, love, Greg." FML

#6241775
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23577) - you deserved it (9101)

On 11/10/2009 at 10:59am - money - by notgreg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5847) - you deserved it (47285)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7715) - you deserved it (20335)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

#6223304
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27571) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35670) - you deserved it (4446)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25859) - you deserved it (2792)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8691) - you deserved it (57268)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (2071)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

#6191622
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18169) - you deserved it (2053)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by iMarriedmymother (man) - United States (California)



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