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FMLs submitted from California

Today, due to the heat, I had a deadly asthma attack. Where was my inhaler? My dad pawned it for beer money. What did my dad do about my attack? Told me to quit being a Drama Queen. I had to go across the street and beg for a ride to the ER from my neighbor. FML

#5346729
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58811) - you deserved it (3135)

On 09/19/2009 at 3:47am - misc - by asthmasucks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML

#5345779
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42065) - you deserved it (3921)

On 09/19/2009 at 2:18am - love - by singlesailor (man) - United States (California)

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

#5345051
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35480) - you deserved it (33978)

On 09/19/2009 at 1:22am - love - by Pierceew (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really annoyed waiting for a bus that was supposed to come every 10 minutes. After a few minutes of waiting, I realized the "bus stop" was really a no parking sign. FML

#5338009
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (44278)

On 09/18/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by signinept (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the 'intimacy' section of Walmart. After grabbing 2 boxes of condoms and a vibrating ring I turn around to see my ex boyfriend's mom. I smile awkwardly and put my head down as I walk away, causing me to colide with his dad and send my 'goodies' all over the floor. FML

#5313361
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23191) - you deserved it (6118)

On 09/17/2009 at 2:45pm - intimacy - by RahiYeah09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

#5310529
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52287) - you deserved it (2237)

On 09/17/2009 at 10:31am - health - by NoPainNoGain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I'm on wage garnishment because my mother, who took out a student loan for me back in '05, didn't pay off the $2015 owed when she said she would. I got screwed over financially because of her. FML

#5308756
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29703) - you deserved it (8647)

On 09/17/2009 at 5:32am - money - by MochiMomoChan (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (3402)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16808) - you deserved it (49906)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was criticizing how I can't handle taking care of any living thing because I'm too irresponsible. We had a huge argument so I went back to my apartment, only to find that my fish had died. I forgot I had a fish. FML

#5286860
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6771) - you deserved it (54115)

On 09/16/2009 at 2:15am - misc - by FlipYoC (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was first in line at a stoplight. After five minutes, with a line of cars behind me, the light was still red. People behind me started honking, so I decided to just go. Halfway across the way, I was greeted by a camera flash. Nobody else went. FML

#5270007
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (48644)

On 09/15/2009 at 8:16am - misc - by publicenemy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

#5189788
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (6638)

On 09/11/2009 at 4:46pm - animals - by ouchh (man) - United States (California)

Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML

#5187639
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51559) - you deserved it (3102)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:27pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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