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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30698) - you deserved it (3904)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37317) - you deserved it (5983)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11269) - you deserved it (22416)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

#13469252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12665) - you deserved it (25945)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42983) - you deserved it (4055)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

#13465366
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (7296)

On 10/15/2010 at 11:06pm - misc - by jacky tu - United States (California)

Today, I was told I look like Susan Boyle. FML

#13462690
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (5705)

On 10/15/2010 at 7:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was trying to repeat an order back to this guy, when his drunk girlfriend started to interrupt me. Whenever I would open my mouth, she would say "Blah blah blah." Literally. Eventually, I gave up. I got his order wrong, and got yelled at by my manager for not repeating his order. FML

#13456460
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28263) - you deserved it (2816)

On 10/15/2010 at 6:52am - work - by ziatenaj - United States (California)

Today, I realized it is now considered normal and routine that my boyfriend wets the bed after a night of drinking. FML

#13446090
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (4712)

On 10/14/2010 at 2:20pm - misc - by Casey - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after being "pressured" into a relationship with another guy. But it's okay, she said she would think of me every time she made love to him. FML

#13442740
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (3171)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by tman (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML

#13442639
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30896) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/14/2010 at 4:00am - love - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I started college after a night out. I'd got tipsy at the club and started dancing with a cute guy. He asked for my number. I didn't want to give it to him, so I gave him a rejection number. Guess who's the new professor for my bio class? And yes, he recognized me. FML

#13424544
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15685) - you deserved it (35785)

On 10/12/2010 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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