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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (2619)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40575) - you deserved it (2784)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm being evicted from my apartment for not paying rent. My father is the on-site landlord. Meaning I now have to move my stuff downstairs into his place and hear every day how I'm a failure. FML

#4971137
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13173) - you deserved it (40576)

On 09/01/2009 at 3:30am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to go back into my house after it had been tented. Suddenly, a foul stench filled my house. My husband checked all around the house and finally checked under the house. There were more than 12 dead stray cats under our house, and guess who was in charge of pulling them out? FML

#4947813
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36379) - you deserved it (3242)

On 08/31/2009 at 3:37am - animals - by ahdeadcats - United States (California)

Today, I rented a drill to a straight-up valley girl, with the speech affect, Von Dutch patrol cap and all. I tried to disabuse of her of the idea that aluminum is a form of steel. Apparently, that constitutes being a smartass, so she threw her change at me. FML

#4943867
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (7566)

On 08/31/2009 at 12:06am - work - by Mack (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend and I were making sandwiches at his house. His family's dog wandered over just as I dropped a large chunk of cheddar on the floor. The dog snatched it up and ran away with it. I yelled after it, jokingly, that I hoped it would choke and die. It did. FML

#4932229
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (49173)

On 08/30/2009 at 4:17pm - animals - by lily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

#4925971
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (39797)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

#4921754
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42118) - you deserved it (8393)

On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after six months of dating, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because my "obsession" of being on the computer and playing games all the time was cutting into "our time". She then told me to "get a life" and never wanted to see me again. She told me all of this on WoW. FML

#4911322
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25087) - you deserved it (48107)

On 08/29/2009 at 6:20pm - love - by zuper_duper (man) - United States (California)

Today, I slipped walking down the stairs. My mom thought I sprained my right ankle. In her haste to get me to the doctor, she grabbed me and accidentally tripped me. I broke my left ankle. The right one was fine. FML

#4886431
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36999) - you deserved it (2190)

On 08/28/2009 at 4:59pm - health - by dannyfanny (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML

#4880765
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48910) - you deserved it (2249)

On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33123) - you deserved it (9236)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend of two years has children. Not one, not two, but three. Not with one, two, but three women. FML

#4876852
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46731) - you deserved it (4503)

On 08/28/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by helenablitz (woman) - United States (California)



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