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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

#8220919
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7716) - you deserved it (32105)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (5203)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (2640)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22538) - you deserved it (6535)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23787) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

#8159042
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (4656)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46383) - you deserved it (3219)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19661) - you deserved it (4220)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18975) - you deserved it (5397)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (2565)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40613) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31969) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)



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