FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mom paid $40 for overnight shipping on delivery of paint for my Art major dropout sister, but insists on making me wait two weeks for my diabetes medication. FML

by thanksmom / 04/29/2011 at 9:00pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was watching a movie online. There was a 15 minute ad. 13 minutes into watching an ad about birth control, I noticed that there was a "skip this ad" button in the corner. FML

by popcorn / 04/27/2011 at 2:33pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and her mom dropped me off at home. I told my girlfriend that I love her. She said nothing, then her mom blurted out, "I love you too!" and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Love

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

by Aginsafa / 04/25/2011 at 7:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

by kyla / 04/24/2011 at 1:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

by NathanPlays / 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

by doubletrouble / 04/22/2011 at 10:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

by GshDrnt / 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

by BerkeleyBiker / 04/19/2011 at 4:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous