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FMLs submitted from California

Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML

#21470789
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22420) - you deserved it (2014)

On 09/20/2015 at 10:15pm - love - by ohforchristssake (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

Today, I'm travelling across the country with my family. My grandma thought it would be a good idea to take her shoes off. It's been 5 minutes and my eyes are watering from the stench. We still have over 200 miles left until we get home. FML

#21470101
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20455) - you deserved it (1421)

On 09/19/2015 at 1:24am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 50-something coworker followed through on his threat to file a defamation lawsuit against me. All because I jokingly said "pedo" after he bragged to everyone that his girlfriend is a smoking hot 19-year-old. FML

#21469924
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (5181)

On 09/18/2015 at 3:51pm - money - by Anownimous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I tried the 'Casual Encounter' page on Craigslist. Three hours, a bunch of spam, and a 30-minute call to some company, speaking to some lady I could barely understand to recover the $40 somehow charged to my card. I think I might want to try other ways to meet people. FML

#21469356
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17184) - you deserved it (9065)

On 09/16/2015 at 10:51pm - love - by StickyPickles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd patronized for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

#21469071
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24395) - you deserved it (4281)

On 09/16/2015 at 2:53am - misc - by BlueMacaw (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

#21468899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (1403)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, my PE teacher yelled at me for not trying hard enough in class. This my second week back after being in the hospital with a collapsed lung. FML

#21468800
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27241) - you deserved it (1566)

On 09/15/2015 at 2:05pm - health - by King_of_Cha0s - United States (California)

Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML

#21468501
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (2118)

On 09/14/2015 at 6:56pm - work - by trustyourfamily (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down a path in the woods behind my house when I saw a squirrel. It ran away, but little did I know it wasn't running from me, it was running from the dog that had forced Animal Control to sweep the area. I ended up with stitches in my leg. FML

#21468014
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23260) - you deserved it (1478)

On 09/13/2015 at 3:02pm - animals - by RENThead - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and filmed it, because it would "be a big hit on YouTube." FML

#21467706
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (1855)

On 09/12/2015 at 5:34pm - love - by Angie - United States (California)

Today, my boss stopped me mid-sentence, scowling and telling me to zip up my fly. It wouldn't have been so embarrassing if I hadn't been in the middle of giving a presentation to not only him, but his own boss and a company executive as well. FML

#21467524
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22010) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/12/2015 at 2:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML



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