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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

#7700878
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35061) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/30/2010 at 8:16am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, the guy that I'm in love with and plan to marry some day told me he would choose a million dollars over me. I got upset and told him I no longer want to be with him. In an excited voice he said, "Really? So are you serious I don't have to worry about this love stuff anymore?" FML

#7693033
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30712) - you deserved it (8468)

On 01/30/2010 at 12:01am - love - by Star (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33615) - you deserved it (6626)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16386) - you deserved it (21954)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

#7589933
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13262) - you deserved it (27491)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by optimist - United States (California)

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25158) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

#7587300
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5508) - you deserved it (50230)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (12492)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (2202)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (4165)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10904) - you deserved it (22546)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13721) - you deserved it (19362)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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