Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, while standing in line at a local Mexican fast food place, I was feeling generous and let a little kid behind me go in front. Turns out he had a list, and was ordering food for his whole family. I had to wait 30 minutes to get my food. FML

#14162375
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27221) - you deserved it (12943)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:41am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was about to get on stage for a choir concert, and realized I had no where to put my phone. Running out of time, I tucked it in the front of my dress and got on stage. I should have put it on silent first. FML

#14162171
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7793) - you deserved it (32375)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:12am - misc - by RingRing - United States (California)

Today, while browsing YouTube, I looked at the section "Recommended for You." I saw a video titled "How to get a girlfriend." Even YouTube thinks I can't get one. FML

#14156953
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30401) - you deserved it (5256)

On 12/10/2010 at 6:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I hit a car while trying to park. Assuming that no one saw, I moved my car and parked somewhere else. Hours later I get a call from the university police. While backing up to go to the police station I hit another car. FML

#14150580
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7201) - you deserved it (53246)

On 12/10/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by eyeleanify (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

#14150271
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (8701)

On 12/10/2010 at 2:17am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sat in my room on the computer instead of attending the party of the year. I got kicked out because I wasn't invited. The party was in my back yard, hosted by my brother. FML

#14138235
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34521) - you deserved it (3960)

On 12/09/2010 at 12:35am - misc - by person123abc (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

#14136075
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37846) - you deserved it (2905)

On 12/08/2010 at 9:26pm - work - by grossedout (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my custom printed Christmas cards that I reviewed twice before ordering, came in the mail. This year I will be wishing everyone a "wondeful" holiday season. I'm an elementary school teacher. FML

#14126790
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10709) - you deserved it (23714)

On 12/08/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I called my parents from out of state to see if they would order me a pizza using their credit card online because I'm out of money. I haven't lived with them for the past year, and they still claim me as a dependent on their taxes. They said no. FML

#14115164
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14645) - you deserved it (29678)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:47am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML

#14114390
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (2422)

On 12/06/2010 at 11:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22962) - you deserved it (3756)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work to find my five year old daughter drawing unicorns on the wall. The same wall that I had to repaint last week because it had puppies on it. FML

#14093907
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27994) - you deserved it (10600)

On 12/05/2010 at 8:53am - kids - by Ed - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

#14093222
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29948) - you deserved it (9216)

On 12/05/2010 at 6:12am - intimacy - by miiiiilk (woman) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: