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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I realized that getting an awesome new phone with all the new bells and whistles doesn't mean that people will now actually want to talk to me. FML

#7139398
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10925) - you deserved it (24300)

On 01/04/2010 at 2:01am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

#7124600
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26378) - you deserved it (5821)

On 01/03/2010 at 11:28am - health - by i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only male that has ever been in bed with me has been my cat. FML

#7107063
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25832) - you deserved it (6368)

On 01/02/2010 at 4:22pm - animals - by Darling_Cherry - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

#7096414
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6372) - you deserved it (32737)

On 01/02/2010 at 1:17am - misc - by Laughluv (man) - United States (California)

Today, it is New Year's Day. While all of my friends are out partying, I stayed home and mastered level 34 on FarmVille. FML

#7075240
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11605) - you deserved it (33556)

On 01/01/2010 at 3:16am - misc - by thatsjustlovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10306) - you deserved it (31491)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

#7040883
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10971) - you deserved it (51212)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the cute freckle I noticed a few weeks ago is actually a giant blackhead. FML

#7034832
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11099) - you deserved it (23867)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:26pm - health - by baybuh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my whole room ruined, it was a mess and everything was torn and chewed up. I suddenly see a dog walk across the hall. I don't have a dog. FML

#7002403
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (2238)

On 12/28/2009 at 10:43pm - animals - by DOGSNACHER (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom sold the car I've been working on for the last few years for 100 dollars. To buy gas for her car. FML

#6995893
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (2346)

On 12/28/2009 at 4:39pm - money - by Butter_Cup - United States (California)

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

#6987202
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21150) - you deserved it (3018)

On 12/28/2009 at 2:30am - animals - by dumbdad (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30807) - you deserved it (5413)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22933) - you deserved it (10616)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)



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