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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22117) - you deserved it (2253)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

#8364969
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23252) - you deserved it (3055)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:38am - love - by amireallyloved - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. I started putting my arm around her, when I hit her in the face. FML

#8340004
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11929) - you deserved it (23437)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:28pm - love - by soomeone - United States (California)

Today, I was late to dinner with my anal-retentive parents because my boyfriend was too busy making cock puppets in the shower to get ready to go. FML

#8339859
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15268) - you deserved it (2973)

On 02/16/2010 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by tacolove69 - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview for a college. The college is in Rhode Island. I live on the West coast. When I asked the interviewer if they got to the mainland by boat or by some other form of transportation, he told me Rhode Island is not an island. FML

#8324479
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5677) - you deserved it (60407)

On 02/16/2010 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

#8286568
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27159) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/15/2010 at 2:28am - misc - by Abandoned (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided to take me out bowling. My mom was going to take us. My parents ended up bowling with us. I had a double date with my parents. FML

#8283424
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25875) - you deserved it (5905)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:14am - love - by shininghayley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my fiancé's parents are refusing to pay for a honeymoon because "they didn't have one so neither will we", so they won't pay for a single thing for our wedding. FML

#8279191
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21690) - you deserved it (13417)

On 02/15/2010 at 12:03am - love - by tayluh26 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML

#8271296
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (3881)

On 02/14/2010 at 10:09pm - love - by Vgameboi (man) - United States (California)

Today, after 22 years of perfect skin, I woke up with a bunch of angry zits on my nose. I used a clay face mask that was supposed to dry them out. Instead, they were bigger and green. Today is Valentine's day, I finally have a guy to go out with, and my nose looks like it's rotting off. FML

#8242504
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28076) - you deserved it (4853)

On 02/14/2010 at 9:14am - love - by zitgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I took a walk on the wharf. We walked by a Wax Museum and in front of the museum there was a bench with a very realistic wax man sitting on it. I got very close to his face and yelled over to my husband how realistic the wax man looked. Just then, he coughed. FML

#8220919
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7528) - you deserved it (31566)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with a hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we get out of my car, she starts sprinting to get out of the rain. I run to catch up and slip on a metal plate, and do a reverse superman onto my ass. FML

#8220322
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (5039)

On 02/13/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by Decker (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

#8191025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32335) - you deserved it (2637)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:48am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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