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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

#6926430
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31164) - you deserved it (4528)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by imamonster1992 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24312) - you deserved it (4892)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22992) - you deserved it (2001)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11005) - you deserved it (24410)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24092) - you deserved it (4128)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24454) - you deserved it (5280)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

#6894646
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (1983)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Chris (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (2294)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was our 6 month anniversary. My boyfriend didn’t get me a present or take me out to dinner. Instead he cried to me about how much he hates his life while he repeatedly punched himself in the face. Then he dropped me off to spend time with his mom. FML

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

#6842155
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44350) - you deserved it (4027)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:14am - love - by Catholicguy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to try whitening my teeth for the first time. I applied the strips to my teeth and decided to lay down and wait for the thirty required minutes to pass. I accidentally fell asleep and woke up three hours later. My teeth are still in excruciating pain and are covered in white streaks. FML

#6841945
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9754) - you deserved it (30907)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:52am - health - by nikko blue - United States (California)

Today, I found my underwear in my brother's pillow as well as my vibrator and Victoria's Secret magazines. FML

#6841457
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (3187)

On 12/20/2009 at 2:13am - intimacy - by VCR (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

#6831944
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8167) - you deserved it (37195)

On 12/19/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Jrlloyd013 (man) - United States (California)



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