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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19970) - you deserved it (13197)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

#10750179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (4234)

On 05/25/2010 at 2:54am - love - by Ouchhh (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (6414)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (2785)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19326) - you deserved it (10116)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33230) - you deserved it (2980)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12063) - you deserved it (26346)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

#10446068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7314) - you deserved it (50135)

On 05/10/2010 at 1:28am - work - by drewig - United States (California)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (5520)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27101) - you deserved it (4622)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (5397)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

#9812049
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29506) - you deserved it (7289)

On 04/11/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)



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