Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (108767) - you deserved it (10310)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51827) - you deserved it (5075)
On 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm - love - by Seanzy (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at work, about to go to lunch. There were some girl scouts out front selling cookies. I told my manager that I would be using a different exit, and when he asked why, I told him that girl scouts really annoy the crap out of me. The girl scouts out front were his daughters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16912) - you deserved it (47113)
On 03/30/2009 at 12:41am - work - by musicman2005 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (65038)
On 03/29/2009 at 3:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65083) - you deserved it (134773)
On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found my concert tickets that I've been trying to find for the last 2 weeks in my mom's closet. When I asked why she had them, she said she felt the concert was inappropriate for me so she hid them. I'm 20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60998) - you deserved it (4805)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I sent my boyfriend of over a year a text message telling him how much I loved him, how perfect he is for me and what I love about him. He sent me back a text saying, "I thought you had class." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46086) - you deserved it (6071)
On 03/28/2009 at 1:38am - love - by Marine (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57599) - you deserved it (3880)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (142375)
On 03/27/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by rutho (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137592) - you deserved it (24609)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53416) - you deserved it (418846)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends and me had a little water balloon fight and somehow it led to throwing water balloons at cars. We all decided to hit a car all at once, after one came by we all hit it. The car stopped and started flashing bright blue lights. We ended up hitting an off-duty police car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8268) - you deserved it (84713)
On 03/26/2009 at 1:20am - misc - by AzNFoo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48789) - you deserved it (6696)
On 03/25/2009 at 7:43pm - health - by Owned (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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