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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found out that my mother in-law's flight home is canceled, and that she's staying three more days. FML

#14364693
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35688) - you deserved it (3833)

On 12/28/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60493) - you deserved it (4624)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

#14325141
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43440) - you deserved it (3526)

On 12/24/2010 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by notsoclean (man) - United States (California)

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

#14316899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32432) - you deserved it (8250)

On 12/23/2010 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11788) - you deserved it (49633)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered why my house smells like death. Apparently, because of the rain, a whole load of worms crawled into my garage and died. They're everywhere. FML

#14291054
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30133) - you deserved it (2564)

On 12/21/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went and bought my wife a new cell phone for a Christmas present. She called me five minutes later saying she got a notification e-mail thanking her for her purchase. FML

#14286772
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26158) - you deserved it (11094)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I was sad I'd forgotten to bake him the cookies that I was planning to send to him for Christmas. His response was "Good, you suck at cooking anyway." FML

#14281367
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25528) - you deserved it (6621)

On 12/21/2010 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

#14250956
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9820) - you deserved it (27886)

On 12/18/2010 at 6:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a week of insomnia, I finally managed to fall asleep. Thirty minutes later, my friends decided to bang on my door, yelling at me to wake up and party with them. I'm now wide awake and hallucinating from lack of sleep. FML

#14232649
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33185) - you deserved it (3797)

On 12/17/2010 at 4:48am - health - by dmsmcd (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

#14228543
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48259) - you deserved it (6124)

On 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm - misc - by carson28 - United States (California)

Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML

#14220139
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13799) - you deserved it (42631)

On 12/16/2010 at 12:51am - love - by LD619 - United States (California)

Today, I got into my first car accident. I hit my own parked car while trying to drive my mother's car into the garage. FML

#14207405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9187) - you deserved it (25665)

On 12/14/2010 at 10:00pm - misc - by dumbass (woman) - United States (California)



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