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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11707) - you deserved it (69324)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (35687)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40144) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19092) - you deserved it (58935)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

#11387354
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37077) - you deserved it (5055)

On 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

#11325945
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26783) - you deserved it (12007)

On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40368) - you deserved it (27209)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and thought it would be cool to rip off my shirt while we were making out. It wasn't. Her bed was under a bookshelf and my shirt didn't even come off. I busted my head while she busted up laughing. FML

#11283596
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14024) - you deserved it (36640)

On 06/18/2010 at 3:18am - intimacy - by gimmeabreak0_o (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me because his mom told him to. FML

#11211630
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43926) - you deserved it (5373)

On 06/15/2010 at 5:50am - love - by Mamasboyhater - United States (California)

Today, I went to a party where I met an amazing guy. After having great conversation all night and what I thought was a serious connection, I leaned in to kiss him. He screamed, forcefully pushed my face away with his hand, and said he was gay. FML

#11209991
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42161) - you deserved it (15022)

On 06/15/2010 at 3:11am - love - by milkybear (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14573) - you deserved it (46631)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (7106)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

#10935757
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33092) - you deserved it (5359)

On 06/03/2010 at 12:47am - love - by sincerely - United States (California)



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