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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (2200)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32175) - you deserved it (4164)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27294) - you deserved it (2408)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10884) - you deserved it (22509)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12742) - you deserved it (18471)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24080) - you deserved it (3906)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14321) - you deserved it (24410)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9998) - you deserved it (25510)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML

#7470144
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31836) - you deserved it (7049)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:47am - love - by uuuuugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4278) - you deserved it (64650)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8106) - you deserved it (27040)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (43255)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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