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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found some pictures of the boy I have a crush on online. Not only is he a crossdresser, but he's also a better looking woman than I am. FML

#7353412
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (5423)

On 01/15/2010 at 3:02am - love - by Rin (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out where my favorite shirt has been for the last six months. My ex-fiancé's new girlfriend is wearing it. FML

Today, I was at the movie theatre. I went to the bathroom, and was about to wipe my butt when I realized that where the toilet-paper dispenser should have been, there was a large hole. The woman in the next stall waved. FML

#7309178
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28643) - you deserved it (5098)

On 01/12/2010 at 9:57pm - misc - by pass_the_tp (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML

#7294242
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31028) - you deserved it (3870)

On 01/12/2010 at 1:46am - kids - by mandiballz - United States (California)

Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML

#7268180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5225) - you deserved it (20961)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:33pm - intimacy - by Drewzter (man) - United States (California)

Today, ignoring the unspoken rule of not entering the bus when the driver's not inside, I went in while he was taking a break. As I stepped inside, he reached in the window and pressed the "close-door" button. It closed on my hand. Everyone at the bus stop laughed as I yelped in pain. FML

#7253458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6851) - you deserved it (25475)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:14am - misc - by regrub (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML

#7249496
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8973) - you deserved it (27027)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:35am - health - by bummed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33717) - you deserved it (6872)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, formal portraits of my entire class were posted online, with about five photos per person. As my mom was looking at them, she was commenting about how pretty all my classmates look. When she got to my photos, all she had to say was "ugh". FML

#7222160
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21885) - you deserved it (2230)

On 01/08/2010 at 7:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting this guy that I hooked up with yesterday. We were gonna do it again but he had basketball practice. I was talking to my friend about it, and sent her a text saying "Oh well. I have explosive diarrhea anyways." She wasn't replying, so I checked my sent box. I sent it to him. FML

#7209759
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8976) - you deserved it (22437)

On 01/08/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends decided it would be funny to engage the child locks on the rear doors of my SUV. My SUV has a bolted cage for the dog separating the front from the back. Guess who was locked in their own car for 2 hours? FML

#7194644
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22176) - you deserved it (3660)

On 01/07/2010 at 3:31am - animals - by Archie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

#7193872
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (2544)

On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

#7177665
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32497) - you deserved it (4120)

On 01/06/2010 at 5:07am - misc - by ribbonsundone (woman) - United States (California)



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