FMLs submitted from California

Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML

by Not That Old / 07/28/2011 at 12:22am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year old girl in the face. FML

by slappedright / 07/26/2011 at 7:19pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML

by badbride / 07/26/2011 at 1:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

by unnamed / 07/25/2011 at 11:19pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to an amusement park with my family. I was the only one who put on sunblock, and the only one who got a sunburn. FML

by Username / 07/24/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I found out that my boyfriend poops with "This is war" playing on his phone, and makes war sounds corresponding with his poop dropping. FML

by MaHalKiTa / 07/23/2011 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Geek

Today, my husband, who is in the Navy, had a couple of his sailor friends over to hang out. The stereotype about their swearing is true. My two year old now won't stop saying "Fuck." FML

by oliveoyl / 07/23/2011 at 12:05am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to see a movie I'd been waiting months for. A couple of women sat down a few rows in front of me with five infants. The infants cried and wailed throughout. I'm not sure I have any idea what was actually said in any of the dialogue. FML

by AceGeek / 07/22/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (California) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I missed a call from my mom. It's my birthday, and glad she remembered, I called back to thank her. She was surprised when I brought up going out for dinner, and asked me what the occasion was. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2011 at 12:40pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband decided that the best way to deal with me eating the last chocolate chip muffin was to give me the silent treatment. Normally, I'd just get over his childish behavior, but we're on a fifteen hour car trip back home with our one year old. FML

by twelfinity / 07/17/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to endure a long story about how and why my brother shaves his pubes. FML

by Username / 07/17/2011 at 11:21am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

by kacysospacyy / 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my friends and I went to the park for some planking. Trying to find a daring spot, I climbed a tree and laid down on a branch. While I was waiting for my friends to take a picture, the branch gave out. FML

by Stephanie / 07/14/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (California) / Health