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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I thought it would be nice to take my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for my birthday. She got a little headache after we ordered, so she went outside to get some air. I ate a $100 meal and had Happy Birthday sang to me by the restaurant staff. Alone. FML

#5498731
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37233) - you deserved it (2994)

On 09/27/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with the cliché of the diamond ring in a champagne glass. Apparently there was an off-duty police officer across the room watching me slip the ring into the glass. He thought I was slipping in a date-rape drug and tackled me down before I could propose. FML

#5494730
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (3435)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a baseball game. I was eating my nachos when all of the sudden I woke up in the hospital, with my dad sitting next to the bed. Apparently, I was hit with a foul ball. He kept the ball for himself. FML

#5492768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (2372)

On 09/26/2009 at 8:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, was my first day at my new job in a shop. 10 minutes after my first customer leaves I realize she managed to steal $200 worth of merchandise while she had me getting stuff for her from the back room. FML

#5489244
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28061) - you deserved it (6640)

On 09/26/2009 at 5:23pm - work - by bzygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my football team played in a game against our rival school that was just a few blocks away. We hadn't lost the game in exactly 49 years, we were playing for the 50th year win. We lost 63-0, and got booed off the field by our own crowd. FML

#5478797
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15472) - you deserved it (29699)

On 09/26/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Fmycar - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

#5461426
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33191) - you deserved it (10214)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:24am - love - by WOWreally (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell off my desk chair. Why? I failed to notice that the screws I'd been finding on the floor around my room for the past few months belonged to said chair. FML

#5455728
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (25623)

On 09/24/2009 at 9:19pm - misc - by Oblivious (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was our wedding anniversary. My husband takes me and our young son to a family-style chain restaurant. Hoping for a little romance, I ask him what he's excited about in our future, and he says how we shouldn't eat out like this anymore so we can afford to pay our income taxes. FML

#5453638
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22398) - you deserved it (3367)

On 09/24/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by frenchfrypotater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was planning on breaking up with my girlfriend of five years in two days time. She just mailed me a care package that said, "I'd die without you." FML

#5441571
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (12145)

On 09/24/2009 at 12:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my navy boyfriend, who's stationed in Italy, calls me to say he is in San Francisco and is coming to see me. After scrambling to get ready, he calls me back to say he doesn't recognize the train station. After searching on Google Maps, it becomes clear he's drunk at Oktoberfest. In Germany. FML

#5438718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36727) - you deserved it (2590)

On 09/23/2009 at 10:47pm - love - by Spatch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to take my boyfriend to Napa. It's my birthday and I wanted to do something big since last year my fiancée called off the wedding. My boyfriend just broke up with me because I'm "clearly not over" my ex. This makes two consecutive birthdays alone in romantic hotels I paid for. FML

#5413362
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33982) - you deserved it (4923)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my 15-year-old sister’s room when I found birth control pills. I told my parents, who responded by saying, "Sex is beautiful thing." When I was her age my parents caught me pleasuring myself, and smashed my laptop with a hammer, all while calling me "filthy" and "immoral". FML

#5375758
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46754) - you deserved it (7028)

On 09/20/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by LovesHisHand (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32188) - you deserved it (3412)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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