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FMLs submitted from California

Today, the day of my 29th birthday and two weeks after our 10th wedding anniversary, the only thing my husband got me for my birthday was divorce papers. Happy birthday, bitch. FML

#8159042
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32031) - you deserved it (4565)

On 02/12/2010 at 3:41am - love - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that I was not adopted and in fact my parents are my biological parents. How did I find out? Over dinner. How long have I been believing I was adopted? 22 years. Why did I start believing I was adopted? My siblings thought it would be a funny joke. My mom played along. FML

#8124338
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43637) - you deserved it (3022)

On 02/11/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Biological (man) - United States (California)

Today, in between the passing times at school, one of my classmates opened the door to my next class, so I turned to tell him thank you. Apparently, he was opening it for the teacher who was leaving. I collided with her and her very hot cup of coffee. FML

#8089139
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19573) - you deserved it (4214)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:34pm - misc - by kel - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17732) - you deserved it (5214)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2602)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27045) - you deserved it (2545)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (3506)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31872) - you deserved it (3119)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24668) - you deserved it (3094)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

#7927518
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31118) - you deserved it (3588)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

#7925151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (5004)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by Karie-Rose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32778) - you deserved it (3224)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23596) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)



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