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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I woke up with a migrane, so I took one of my prescription migrane pills to get me through my day. The pill made me dizzy and nauseous, so I took a motion-sickness pill. That pill gave me a migrane. FML

#14851350
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31139) - you deserved it (5284)

On 02/05/2011 at 11:13am - health - by Screwed in Seattle - United States (California)

Today, I was so bored I began practicing an irish jig. For two hours. FML

#14847206
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11079) - you deserved it (25375)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Youdontneed2knowmyname - United States (California)

Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML

#14845323
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12491) - you deserved it (52588)

On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

#14790484
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (3980)

On 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm - misc - by ad4 - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML

#14784737
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32357) - you deserved it (4528)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by mentallyscarred - United States (California)

Today, I got married and I'd invited everyone from work including my boss. His way of congratulating me was to mention that I'm out of a job. He said it was a good time to do it because he thought I would be too happy or too drunk to care. FML

#14784693
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33648) - you deserved it (2674)

On 01/31/2011 at 4:28am - misc - by freckleboy422 - United States (California)

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (3244)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, my brother and father thought it would be a good idea to wake me up by turning on a chainsaw and wearing hockey masks. FML

#14753442
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36825) - you deserved it (4487)

On 01/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by unlucky dudebag - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML

#14743806
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30064) - you deserved it (13552)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

#14717553
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17866) - you deserved it (27061)

On 01/26/2011 at 5:31am - health - by WronglySad619 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college professor handed every student a note card and told us to rate his looks from 1 to 5. Is this what I pay $20,000 a year for? FML

#14716762
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31573) - you deserved it (3614)

On 01/26/2011 at 2:45am - misc - by SLOMan90 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my uncle had a flashback to Vietnam. I'm now missing a tooth and have a cracked rib. FML

#14706011
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (3288)

On 01/25/2011 at 2:28am - misc - by Randall (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got turned down from a job I really wanted. Six hours later, the guy called me again and delivered the same news, not realizing he had already called this morning. Thanks for rubbing it in. FML

#14704290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28696) - you deserved it (2610)

On 01/24/2011 at 11:24pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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