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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML

#14990533
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17769) - you deserved it (25313)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22546) - you deserved it (3801)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

#14975268
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47640) - you deserved it (4283)

On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

#14950159
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (16129)

On 02/12/2011 at 1:40pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made the discovery that I'm in a true love triangle; both of my girlfriends are dating one another. FML

#14948891
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15859) - you deserved it (66627)

On 02/12/2011 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a notice in the mail saying I had been fired from my job. My dad's the boss, who I happen to live with. FML

#14945401
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31122) - you deserved it (3618)

On 02/12/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Austin - United States (California)

Today, in an effort to make new friends in my history class, I sat in the empty seat next to a friendly-looking guy. He got up, walked away, and sat down in a different seat. FML

#14938952
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (4054)

On 02/11/2011 at 7:08pm - misc - by loner - United States (California)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (3689)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML

#14925146
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35380) - you deserved it (4603)

On 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML

#14917396
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (4032)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:16am - love - by effyou (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25541) - you deserved it (7279)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34017) - you deserved it (8562)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)



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