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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found out my neighbor ordered parking tickets for everyone on the block. My car was 4 inches into his driveway, but not obstructing his exit in any way. That didn't stop him from calling in, on a Sunday, at 8 AM, an 88 dollar ticket. He also left a note "Your parking sucks, love, Greg." FML

#6241775
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23381) - you deserved it (9062)

On 11/10/2009 at 10:59am - money - by notgreg (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on my back porch having a cigarette. Not being all that awake yet, I threw the butt, still smoldering, on the ground. Did I remember that there was an ashtray right next to me? No. I did what I would do at work: I stamped it out. Barefoot. FML

#6237961
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5800) - you deserved it (47087)

On 11/10/2009 at 12:24am - health - by ID10t (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was having an intimate moment with my detachable showerhead. I opened my eyes to find my husband of 4 months looking down on me. The only thing he said was, 'You too?' FML

#6223689
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7649) - you deserved it (20128)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by ShowerheadGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

#6223304
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25711) - you deserved it (4032)

On 11/09/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Abr829 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall, I saw a girl crying that her ice cream had fallen on the floor. Feeling generous, I bought her a new one. She threw it on the ground, laughed, and came over to her mom and told that I was bothering her, so the mom called security. FML

#6222787
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35419) - you deserved it (4437)

On 11/09/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by miseventshappen - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the store behind a lady and her young daughter. Trying to be polite I smiled at the little girl. She burst into tears asking her mommy 'what is wrong with that ladies teeth'. Apparently braces on a 25 year old is not 'kid friendly'. FML

#6221644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25657) - you deserved it (2783)

On 11/08/2009 at 11:37pm - kids - by itsjustmyluck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from my cute teacher about reminding us to bring stuff for the next lesson. As a joke I clicked on reply and wrote about how I think he is so cute and handsome. Right then and there I clicked to go look at other messages. A little box came up..."MESSAGE SENT". FML

#6206375
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7988) - you deserved it (54681)

On 11/08/2009 at 1:07am - misc - by mylifereallysuks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to sleep in after a rough week, only to be woken up by my roommate's sex screams and the pounding of her bed against the wall. Earplugs did not help. FML

#6194907
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18144) - you deserved it (1965)

On 11/07/2009 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had stopped taking her anti-depressants a month ago in hopes of increasing her non-existent sex drive. I asked her if it had helped, and was about to suggest she start taking them again for her own wellbeing. She replied with, "Anyway, I'm just not attracted to you." FML

#6191622
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17918) - you deserved it (2038)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by iMarriedmymother (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML

#6185780
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6623) - you deserved it (39413)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was called into work to fix up their projection system. I drove 40 kilometers in peak hour to get there. As soon as I parked my car and was about to walk in, I got a phone call saying "Don't worry, we fixed it, you don't have to come in." FML

#6182229
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23015) - you deserved it (1806)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:37pm - work - by chiraag87 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML

#6179054
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (4786)

On 11/06/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ShittyKeys (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my grandmother. All of my cousins and I went to say "hi" to her, one by one. When I got up to her and said, "Hi grandma!", she said in Chinese, "I don't remember this one." FML

#6177854
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30425) - you deserved it (2146)

On 11/06/2009 at 1:13am - misc - by ForgottenKid (man) - United States (California)



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