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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36077) - you deserved it (6158)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom still refers to his ex as 'the daughter she never had.' FML

#10621379
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (2780)

On 05/19/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19298) - you deserved it (10108)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason I've been itchy for the last two weeks is because I'm now allergic to chlorine. I'm also a swimming instructor. FML

#10507279
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31335) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/13/2010 at 1:51pm - work - by Dfacta (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was one of five people called up to the front in class to receive a special notice from the school administration. The first four people received awards for outstanding effort in school. Mine was a notice that I had overdue library fines. FML

#10502352
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10801) - you deserved it (24601)

On 05/13/2010 at 3:39am - misc - by leftout (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

#10446068
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6567) - you deserved it (47684)

On 05/10/2010 at 1:28am - work - by drewig - United States (California)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37648) - you deserved it (5191)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm having a nice evening out on the town. After my complimentary round of drinks for my birthday, my friend walks in with a big pink gift-box. It was an inflatable... erm... 'friend.' Which then got unwrapped in front of several of my other friends. And several members of my family. FML

#10396972
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26079) - you deserved it (4507)

On 05/07/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both myspace and facebook before saying to me that he was "Too busy to have sex." FML

#10288780
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26338) - you deserved it (5179)

On 05/02/2010 at 3:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses were at my door. Normally I don't give them the time of day, but I was so lonely for company, I let them in. FML

#9812049
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28911) - you deserved it (7172)

On 04/11/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came back from a week long class trip. My mother took it upon herself to replace my bed sheets and clean my room. Apparently, she found a note under my mattress from my ex-boyfriend. It said "For all you future dudes, Connor was here first!" FML

#9645798
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (9442)

On 04/05/2010 at 3:32am - intimacy - by FASHlONABLE - United States (California)

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
396 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49212) - you deserved it (9634)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)



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