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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24023) - you deserved it (3904)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14291) - you deserved it (24365)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9281) - you deserved it (23987)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML

#7470144
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31766) - you deserved it (7044)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:47am - love - by uuuuugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4272) - you deserved it (64539)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24578) - you deserved it (4494)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8091) - you deserved it (26992)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

#7451300
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7173) - you deserved it (41174)

On 01/20/2010 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36365) - you deserved it (7649)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go to court to see whether my drivers license is suspended for an entire year. I woke up early, went to court, and everything went perfectly, with all the charges being dropped. Unfortunately, I then woke up, and am now going to be late. FML

#7437727
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12060) - you deserved it (27800)

On 01/19/2010 at 2:38pm - misc - by haus (man) - United States (California)

Today, my niece offered me a slice of cake. After I refused, she asked, "Why not? Aren't fat people always hungry?" FML

#7430497
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (5816)

On 01/19/2010 at 12:08am - health - by Fatlady43 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (5462)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found on the internet pictures of me sleeping. I sleep naked. FML

#7377706
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32252) - you deserved it (7369)

On 01/16/2010 at 12:51pm - misc - by be_so_slick_56 (man) - United States (California)



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