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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML

#12463694
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (7953)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML

#12439664
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37722) - you deserved it (3532)

On 08/10/2010 at 9:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to take a test, but the professor didn't have it ready because he went to a concert last night. I sold my own tickets to that very concert in order to study for the test. FML

#12411757
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41540) - you deserved it (4359)

On 08/09/2010 at 1:44pm - misc - by goodstudent (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33770) - you deserved it (2977)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found a pile of animal skeletons scattered in my backyard. It appears that last night, mother nature decided to rain so hard, that the graves of my childhood pets floated back up to the top, and covered half of my field. I now have to pick all of it up before my dog sees them. FML

#12396014
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (3437)

On 08/08/2010 at 7:27pm - animals - by L.Lime05 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (7699)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing a math game with a 4th grade boy (I'm a college graduate). I cheated during the entire game, and still lost 7 of the 9 rounds we played. FML

#12346285
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8586) - you deserved it (41883)

On 08/06/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by riahta (man) - United States (California)

Today, upon getting out of the shower, I discovered the towel I grabbed off the rack had dried poop on it. Apparently, during my sister's birthday party yesterday, we'd run out of toilet paper. FML

#12288946
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (3785)

On 08/03/2010 at 2:13pm - misc - by missalexa - United States (California)

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

#12271969
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29170) - you deserved it (4353)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Doubleyew1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I like it when he moans while we're having sex. Unfortunately, he interpreted that as "milk it". The sound is so obnoxious, it's starting to ruin the sex. FML

#12271784
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13809) - you deserved it (25053)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by toomuchlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while helping my dad look for his watch, I found his porn collection. FML

#12239634
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29067) - you deserved it (5112)

On 08/01/2010 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Chimychunga (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was repainting the walls in my room. While painting, I noticed a dark spot on the wall that wouldn't seem to go away no matter how much paint I put on it. A bucket of paint and hours later, I realized that "dark spot" was a shadow. FML

#12214891
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7922) - you deserved it (54397)

On 07/30/2010 at 9:44pm - misc - by ick - United States (California)

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML

#12176888
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30758) - you deserved it (11672)

On 07/29/2010 at 12:14am - intimacy - by GGimabeast (man) - United States (California)



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