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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mom's "hobby" of rescuing homeless people became very real. We now have 3 more people living in our house, and none of them have a sense of personal space. I wake up to their faces in my windows. Thanks mom. FML

#6350445
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31020) - you deserved it (2043)

On 11/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Bribri (man) - United States (California)

Today, after sleeping in, I finally sorted through a stack of mail I had been putting off and I found a Jury summons. Thinking it must be coming up soon, I checked the date, my appearance is scheduled for 7:45am on November 16th. Today is November 17th. FML

#6337405
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6541) - you deserved it (35328)

On 11/17/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by Nic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my dad has been having an affair. With my formerly favorite teacher. The best part? Yesterday, she announced to the class that she was pregnant. I clapped and congratulated her. FML

#6318893
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43615) - you deserved it (2046)

On 11/15/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, when this guy came in and paid for his ice cream, then handed me a dollar. I've never gotten a tip before, so I looked at him and said, "Thank you so much, I appreciate it." He stared at me with a weird look for a moment, and then said, "Can I just get that in quarters?" FML

#6313806
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (4955)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:04pm - money - by notip (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the movies. Not only did the movie end up being awful, but I came to my car to find out someone drew Squidward from "SpongeBob" with large letters spelling "I LIKE POTATOES!" on my windshield. In permanent marker. FML

#6298224
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26732) - you deserved it (2829)

On 11/14/2009 at 6:08am - misc - by squidwardpotatoes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home after a two week vacation to find that my wonderful dog had pooped and peed all over my room. My mother was kind enough to dog-sit; however, instead of helping me by cleaning up the horrid mess, she just left me coupons for Glade plug-in air fresheners. FML

#6287406
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22569) - you deserved it (3358)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:34pm - animals - by PuppyLove2009 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML

#6283772
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31583) - you deserved it (6389)

On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

#6283221
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41677) - you deserved it (2561)

On 11/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by ournhd (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30730) - you deserved it (7755)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was reading my students' Halloween stories I made them write for my creative writing class in high school. One of my students wrote about attacking me. She got my street address perfect and everything. FML

#6268890
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38649) - you deserved it (4019)

On 11/12/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by Teaching (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29951) - you deserved it (4403)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my father for some help paying my college tuition. He told me he'd help me after I become more accredited than he is. My father has 2 PHDs. I'm studying to be an elementary school teacher. FML

#6255199
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27194) - you deserved it (3310)

On 11/11/2009 at 7:47am - misc - by Stupidteach (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML

#6253497
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32470) - you deserved it (7241)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:43am - misc - by Saphira (woman) - United States (California)



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