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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I finally came home from a semester of college, and all my parents and sister can talk about is how bad my acne has gotten. FML

#6824006
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25592) - you deserved it (2606)

On 12/19/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by honutattoo - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend who I love very deeply dumped me two times, over the phone. The first time was to dump me. She then called me back a couple hours later explicitly to dump our friendship. I was just friend dumped. FML

#6823589
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30750) - you deserved it (2625)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:48am - love - by musicyman55 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

#6820464
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11488) - you deserved it (22770)

On 12/18/2009 at 11:29pm - love - by Poem (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3575)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML

#6804648
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (8925)

On 12/18/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by WhoaThere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22967) - you deserved it (5034)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent five minutes trying to kill a spider with my mind. FML

#6789867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (39277)

On 12/17/2009 at 4:58am - animals - by AnRom (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my boyfriend of two years is a wanted man in the state of Texas, and was living under a fake identity for the past three years. What is he wanted for? Rampant identity theft. FML

#6783390
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28406) - you deserved it (2545)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by Frauded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after many, many attempts to get her out of my life, the girl that is stalking me told me that she loves me and our love can only be ended by her killing either herself or me. FML

#6781373
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/16/2009 at 6:55pm - love - by cheezmaster (man) - United States (California)

Today, I worked for three hours writing very neat notes with one of those pens that erase. I felt very accomplished, so decided to share it on Facebook. I brought my computer over to my lap on top of my notes. Turns out heat from laptops smudges ink from eraseable pens. I can't read my notes. FML

#6775811
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9146) - you deserved it (25459)

On 12/16/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by ohhi_itsme123 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year old guy. FML

#6763164
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (29194)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by wjones (man) - United States (California)

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24196) - you deserved it (2791)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (27502)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)



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