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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (4822)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML

#13363773
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28650) - you deserved it (6281)

On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after years of waiting, my mom and I finally received a check from Child Support Services. Excited, I opened it up to find a check from my dad, written out for 45 cents. Which pays for maybe half a loaf of bread. FML

#13350704
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29354) - you deserved it (2989)

On 10/07/2010 at 12:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my "I don't believe in pre-marital sex" boyfriend is the father of my younger sister's newborn baby. After four years of being in a serious, but sexless, relationship, I am now single, horny, and an aunt. FML

#13311710
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56397) - you deserved it (5919)

On 10/04/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (5492)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I was called into the office by my supervisor, on whom I have a massive crush. He called me in to get my password to make some adjustments on my work account and asked me what my password was. I had to hold eye contact with him and tell him my password is his full name. FML

#13298402
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18314) - you deserved it (42996)

On 10/03/2010 at 1:08am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43302) - you deserved it (9853)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

#13284441
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43397) - you deserved it (4538)

On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23701) - you deserved it (3097)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I caught my husband modeling my cute floral panties. All he could manage to say was "I love you." FML

#13274017
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30031) - you deserved it (4579)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by canispankthat - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (4160)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

#13245431
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29913) - you deserved it (4213)

On 09/29/2010 at 2:33am - work - by csor027 - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years, telling him he needed to be more responsible, and stop relying on me for everything. When I told him to leave, he told me he needed some gas money. FML

#13205428
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28887) - you deserved it (5258)

On 09/26/2010 at 3:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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