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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33869) - you deserved it (3386)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30821) - you deserved it (6929)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7449) - you deserved it (48798)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23106) - you deserved it (2942)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

#6931953
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25884) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

#6926430
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (4392)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by imamonster1992 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke at 5am to the smell of smoke and the sound of sirens. It seems the whole Santa Monica Fire Department had made it outside our apartment complex. We had to wake up every single person on our floor. What for? An old lady burned a muffin. FML

#6911518
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22834) - you deserved it (1992)

On 12/23/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Muffinhater (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I brewed myself a fresh cup of coffee. I set the hot coffee onto my desk. My phone rang so I answered my coffee, spilling it all over my face and body. FML

#6902851
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10943) - you deserved it (24317)

On 12/23/2009 at 1:42pm - work - by chris (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drove the six hours to LA to attend my Uncle's birthday party. When I tried to get off at the exit, it took me two hours just to get onto the street where the club was. By the time I showed up, the party was already over, so I ended up going to a Denny's. I drove eight hours for a Denny's. FML

#6898693
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (4116)

On 12/23/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by BeautifulDisastre (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was trying to read a book for school, but kept falling asleep. Following some advice from a friend I tried reading on the uncomfortable floor. Two hours later my dog woke me up by peeing on my face. FML

#6894688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24332) - you deserved it (5270)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:05am - animals - by sleepy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I submitted my application to a restaurant as a server. The manager, who is more than 30 years older than me, said he'd be calling me. He later texted me asking for a date instead of giving me a job. FML

#6894646
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (1900)

On 12/23/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Chris (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

#6891757
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21114) - you deserved it (2287)

On 12/22/2009 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by omgboobs (woman) - United States (California)



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