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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

#12714961
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (10168)

On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML

#12706799
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (2785)

On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

#12706107
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (9546)

On 08/23/2010 at 6:44pm - misc - by lizardface (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

#12695884
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39735) - you deserved it (3405)

On 08/23/2010 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband just told me that he no longer loves me but keeps me around to handle his finances. FML

#12693403
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38046) - you deserved it (3514)

On 08/23/2010 at 12:17am - love - by Lace (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is only staying with me for the present I promised him for his birthday. FML

#12676840
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29987) - you deserved it (4885)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:17am - love - by arace15336 (woman) - United States (California)

 Today, I came home from a long day at work, and heard voices coming from my living room. I thought my house was being robbed so I called 911. Turns out I left the T.V. on. FML

#12620579
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7139) - you deserved it (34207)

On 08/19/2010 at 4:22am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38907) - you deserved it (6512)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

#12598629
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48026) - you deserved it (13801)

On 08/18/2010 at 2:23am - intimacy - by ...thanks honey - United States (California)

Today, I found out that if my son and daughter in law are mad at me, they do it on my furniture. So far, they've done it on the table, my bed, and all the living room couches. FML

#12566492
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27585) - you deserved it (12497)

On 08/16/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was stolen. From my driveway. By the guy who sold it to me. FML

#12528127
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (3809)

On 08/14/2010 at 10:25pm - misc - by carless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

#12506969
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9073) - you deserved it (46151)

On 08/13/2010 at 8:56pm - health - by thatsucks4u - United States (California)

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

#12481000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7975) - you deserved it (39247)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)



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