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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I finally got a hold of my husband who I haven't actually talked to in 2 and 1/2 weeks since he is deployed and it's hard to chat. He told me he couldn't talk because he was in an epic battle, in Call of Duty. FML

#6650793
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (4184)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:16pm - love - by Dejected (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend he is good at singing. Now he won't stop. FML

#6644248
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8410) - you deserved it (37083)

On 12/07/2009 at 12:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a red-eye flight, and the woman beside me was chattering loudly to her friend. I opened my laptop and got to work. Suddenly, one of the women turned to me and told me that the clicking of my keyboard was too loud. She then called me an inconsiderate selfish bitch. FML

#6639706
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38244) - you deserved it (2049)

On 12/06/2009 at 9:08pm - misc - by HassledAirfarer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really sick at my boyfriend's house, and barely made it to the toilet in time to throw up. it got on my shirt so I asked if I could borrow one of his. He said I could wear one of his dad's shirts because he didn't want his to get too stretched out. FML

#6626957
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (6393)

On 12/06/2009 at 12:25am - love - by barfyshirt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at Home Depot getting a Christmas tree with my family. While picking out a tree, a man thought it would be nice to help cut off the string that held the tree together. The branches hit me in the face and the guy managed to cut my hand. FML

#6612451
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (2137)

On 12/05/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by shoutoutloud2him (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I spent 30 minutes trying to find my glasses. I don't know whats worse, the fact that I was wearing them the whole time, or that my girlfriend played along and helped me look for them. FML

#6594028
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9977) - you deserved it (29461)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by wobbles (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30725) - you deserved it (2336)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47303) - you deserved it (2014)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

#6579645
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29329) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by bdaygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (8073)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally released my first music album. I dropped out of college to pay for it after my friends who liked my music urged me to. They keep telling me how much they love the CD. I've only sold one copy. Turns out they put it on a sharing site so only one of them would have to buy it. FML

#6546690
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33355) - you deserved it (13601)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:57am - misc - by Rob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

#6532310
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29148) - you deserved it (3849)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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