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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

#7624782
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15892) - you deserved it (21265)

On 01/27/2010 at 9:41pm - misc - by spleechick - United States (California)

Today, after wondering why I didn't receive a grade for a summer course I took in 2007, I realized that I gave the professor the wrong student ID number. Someone else received credit. I've been waiting on this grade for 8 months in order to graduate. FML

#7589933
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13188) - you deserved it (27416)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:03pm - misc - by optimist - United States (California)

Today, it's raining at my work. Not outside, inside. Because our building's boiler broke and all the pipes are dripping with condensation. I have to sit at my desk under an umbrella to protect my laptop and desk phone. The HVAC company said, "Don't worry, this is normal." FML

#7589766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23404) - you deserved it (1780)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:44pm - work - by dripdripdrop (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from college when I saw a couple of sporty chicks jogging on the side of the road. I honked at them and yelled suggestively as I do at college, which usually gets a fun flirty reaction from college girls. It was my next-door neighbor and her 11 year old daughter. FML

#7587300
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5008) - you deserved it (47715)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:39am - misc - by Fonz (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (12183)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31242) - you deserved it (4050)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27199) - you deserved it (2402)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10843) - you deserved it (22463)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12691) - you deserved it (18441)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23988) - you deserved it (3903)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14272) - you deserved it (24339)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9270) - you deserved it (23961)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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