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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my boyfriend decided that lunch with his guys was more important than spending time with me. This is the second year in a row that he has cancelled on me. How do I remember the date so well? It's my birthday. FML

#8767349
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31251) - you deserved it (4823)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:14am - love - by BirthdayGirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

#8765268
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22414) - you deserved it (2517)

On 03/02/2010 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Lin - United States (California)

Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML

#8741941
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22567) - you deserved it (2955)

On 03/01/2010 at 3:30am - animals - by mav3rick91 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing xbox. FML

#8659721
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52473) - you deserved it (3773)

On 02/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by Jeri (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

#8658906
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25968) - you deserved it (7815)

On 02/26/2010 at 6:13am - animals - by aaalias34 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out why my boyfriend of over a year is so obsessed with cleaning his entire place before I come over. He's been hiding the ex girlfriend that never moved out. FML

#8631765
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30235) - you deserved it (2549)

On 02/25/2010 at 1:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom drove my family to the desert for a themed family photo. We had to wear big frumpy old western-looking clothes in 115 degree weather. Hot and agitated, I muttered, "This is the ugliest thing I've ever had to wear." My mom, looking hurt, replied, "That's my wedding dress." FML

#8630482
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17008) - you deserved it (24314)

On 02/25/2010 at 12:09am - misc - by Lespoon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, I was working the night shift at the hotel I'm employed at. After checking in a young couple to the room above the main office, I was forced to listen to them having it off for most of the night, serving a very loud reminder that I've been single for five years. FML

#8582830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19265) - you deserved it (2818)

On 02/23/2010 at 6:52am - intimacy - by Cromwel620 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML

#8546580
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28542) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML

#8542819
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21325) - you deserved it (5572)

On 02/22/2010 at 1:31am - love - by nomoresbfun (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day of softball practice. I'm the youngest one on the team by about 2 years, so I wanted to prove I'm just as good as everyone else. Too bad I tripped in the outfield and got hit in the head with a bat. I have a concussion. FML

#8518590
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21034) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/21/2010 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a drunk man opened the unlocked door to my house thinking it was his house. He tried to attack me because he thought I was a burglar. FML

#8516806
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29842) - you deserved it (7051)

On 02/21/2010 at 1:05pm - misc - by jerrid - United States (California)



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