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FMLs submitted from California

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36579) - you deserved it (3570)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while skiing on Mammoth Mountain, a man dressed in an Easter Bunny costume snowboarded into me and sent me flying. Not only did he hurt my wrist, he also threw an Easter egg at me, yelled "Happy Easter", and snowboarded away. FML

#15911784
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (4081)

On 04/24/2011 at 7:49pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31564) - you deserved it (7187)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53104) - you deserved it (9320)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

#15899858
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25597) - you deserved it (10273)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

#15890797
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (19549)

On 04/22/2011 at 9:39pm - kids - by NathanPlays - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally found a roommate after hopelessly looking for months. I was really anxious to meet the guy because I would most likely be spending a good amount of time with him. Who did my boyfriend end up picking as his new roommate? My ex-boyfriend. FML

#15884642
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44341) - you deserved it (4471)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:40am - misc - by doubletrouble (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

#15866810
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32534) - you deserved it (6381)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm - misc - by GshDrnt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (10102)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

#15844059
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34582) - you deserved it (3595)

On 04/19/2011 at 4:23am - misc - by BerkeleyBiker (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 5 week old puppy decided to sleep between my head and the headboard of my bed. I sneezed and my puppy got so scared it caused him to pee on me. FML

#15833308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (8366)

On 04/18/2011 at 12:10pm - misc - by Wendie - United States (California)

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

#15803681
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37893) - you deserved it (4784)

On 04/16/2011 at 2:11am - misc - by uncool (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML

#15803109
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (82139)

On 04/16/2011 at 1:14am - misc - by Username - United States (California)



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