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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18843) - you deserved it (8241)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (4619)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

#6416046
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (2343)

On 11/23/2009 at 12:09am - love - by apparentlyhesbusy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12591) - you deserved it (34173)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to a rock concert and met this amazing girl. We started talking and then swapped cell numbers. Five minutes later, she asks to see my cellphone, so I gave it to her. Once I got home I went to text her and saw that she deleted her number. FML

#6388280
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30179) - you deserved it (4994)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:28am - love - by SeeBrendenBurn (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

#6386124
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9188) - you deserved it (36381)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:59pm - work - by Masonlee89 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (2634)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12241) - you deserved it (35665)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML

#6378888
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41535) - you deserved it (6634)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, my boss said something that I didn't catch. I went to take a leash off a dog, (I'm a groomer's assistant) and looked at my boss and said "What?" To which she replied, "Be careful, he bites." I now have a two-inch gash on my finger from a 6lb fluffy Maltese. FML

#6377475
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16117) - you deserved it (4759)

On 11/20/2009 at 3:29am - work - by DamnDogs (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got an interview at a restaurant after looking for a job for three months. I dressed nice, and the interview was going well until this blonde girl in booty shorts and fishnets walked in. The manager hired her on the spot. FML

#6374426
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23913) - you deserved it (1900)

On 11/19/2009 at 8:50pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21980) - you deserved it (5177)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)



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