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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I found out that the necklace my boyfriend gave me for my birthday was actually a gift he'd given to his ex girlfriend. FML

#8013959
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25827) - you deserved it (2597)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:24pm - love - by Chrissy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got ice cream with a guy I'd met at a wrestling match a few days ago. When I got home, I found out that my mother had been sitting in the parking lot and watched us through the windows. FML

#8011399
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25754) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/08/2010 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

#7992828
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40467) - you deserved it (3503)

On 02/07/2010 at 11:03pm - love - by Hm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years saw baby wipes in my bathroom and assumed I had a kid. He broke up with me. I use baby wipes to take off my makeup. FML

#7972550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31834) - you deserved it (3113)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:41pm - love - by notababymama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it dawned on me that the most romantic thing my husband has done in the last three years, was a put a wedding ring on his xbox avatar. FML

#7945898
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24608) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm - love - by browniepoints (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister asked me what she would look like when she got older. I told her that she would probably look a lot like me. She started to cry. FML

#7927518
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31050) - you deserved it (3582)

On 02/06/2010 at 3:15am - kids - by Misty3242 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

#7925151
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20379) - you deserved it (5001)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:28am - misc - by Karie-Rose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

#7925125
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (3049)

On 02/06/2010 at 1:27am - animals - by btg - United States (California)

Today, my mother and I were driving through Del Taco. Instead of ordering "Macho Diet Coke", she said "Macho Diet Cock". After correcting herself and pulling up to the window, the employee who goes to my high school gave her the drink and his phone number. FML

#7898835
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (2329)

On 02/05/2010 at 2:52am - misc - by MachoFluster (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

#7897193
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27764) - you deserved it (3011)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:25am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the car with my 16 year old daughter. There was a guy on a fast looking motorcycle next to me at the stop light. I yelled to him to "get it up!" so that he would do a wheelie. Just before the light turned green he yelled back, "You're too old for me, but I'll get it up for her!" FML

#7897076
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8307) - you deserved it (27608)

On 02/05/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML

#7837909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (2187)

On 02/03/2010 at 1:27am - misc - by rainey (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31315) - you deserved it (2661)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)



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