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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while I was substitute teaching a middle school class, a boy, named Chris, refused to get in the boy's line for the bathroom. After I had said, "Chris, what makes you think you're a girl?" in a very loud voice, one of the other students said "She is a girl." I've scarred a child for life. FML

#13571431
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13600) - you deserved it (49353)

On 10/24/2010 at 1:26am - kids - by badteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at Burger King, I had to go to the bathroom. Two ketchup packets were under the seat and exploded on my legs and pants when I sat down. FML

#13558964
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32278) - you deserved it (5838)

On 10/23/2010 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML

#13558265
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55428) - you deserved it (4306)

On 10/23/2010 at 2:07am - love - by Oriianna Raiinbow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

#13525435
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29880) - you deserved it (8299)

On 10/20/2010 at 2:41pm - love - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

#13518841
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38152) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/19/2010 at 11:05pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was texting this guy i've liked for a really long time, because of how nice and sentimental he is. We were sending each other things like "You make me smile" and "You're so damn cute" when finally he said "Let's just stop texting and hook up already." So much for sentimental. FML

#13507844
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12957) - you deserved it (40671)

On 10/19/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned I was adopted and that my parents had died in a car accident when I was really young. My girlfriend was sitting next to me when I got the news, and several hours later broke up with me in a text stating, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have real parents." FML

#13506620
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78510) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/19/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by losingit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm going on an 8 hour drive with my insane family. This usually means screaming arguments, graphic conversations about my dad's pubes, some karaoke, plenty of farting, some stale Pringles, and an obese golden retriever on my lap the entire time. Arizona, here we come. FML

#13495901
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29663) - you deserved it (3796)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:56am - misc - by fmmlll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

#13485553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (5704)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:52pm - kids - by Lauren Smith - United States (California)

Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML

#13482616
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10813) - you deserved it (21771)

On 10/17/2010 at 4:13am - animals - by baddoggy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started some laundry late at night. Once my clothes were in the washer for about a half hour, I got bored and I decided I would listen to my iPod. After looking for it for another 15 minutes, I remembered where I'd left it; in my jacket... which is now nice and clean. FML

#13469252
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12228) - you deserved it (25229)

On 10/16/2010 at 5:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you deserved it (3977)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I learned that making an illegal U-turn right after you see a cop doing one will not stop said cop from ticketing you. FML



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