Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML

#13124978
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11937) - you deserved it (37269)

On 09/20/2010 at 4:28am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML

#13094765
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (2657)

On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after weeks of allowing my parents to borrow money, I got a check for $2000. I took it to the bank only to find out it was fake. FML

#13094289
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28021) - you deserved it (3021)

On 09/18/2010 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my ex-boyfriend's mother came up to me at school, yelling and causing a scene in front of everyone for breaking her son's heart. We broke up over a year ago because he was cheating on me. FML

#13073501
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37303) - you deserved it (2337)

On 09/16/2010 at 12:23pm - love - by whatabitch (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from this girl I really like. Surprised, as I never get anything other than a text from her, I answered. All I heard were rustling sounds. She had pocket dialed me. FML

#13070669
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26801) - you deserved it (4624)

On 09/16/2010 at 3:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

#13058451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16459) - you deserved it (38054)

On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML

#13049804
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8415) - you deserved it (45599)

On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

#13034308
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26063) - you deserved it (2638)

On 09/13/2010 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to crawl through a sun roof because one of my co workers locked her keys in her car. After I got the keys, instead of opening the car door, I climbed back out through the sun roof. To laughter. FML

#13024683
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6594) - you deserved it (37457)

On 09/12/2010 at 8:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was moving. While packing, I found an old photo that had been laying face down in the bottom of a drawer for some time, and some of the ink transfered to the drawer lining. There is now an image of my ex-girlfriend's face permanently burned into the bottom of my nightstand drawer. FML

#12998740
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29135) - you deserved it (5429)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:53am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

#12959841
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28944) - you deserved it (3090)

On 09/08/2010 at 4:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML

#12948197
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28848) - you deserved it (23802)

On 09/07/2010 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Ashley - United States (California)

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

#12946074
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (2623)

On 09/07/2010 at 6:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie replies #1
  • Hello all you crybabies, from Land's End to John o' Groats. Yes, I'm finally here my lovelies. Since last week, my inbox hasn't stopped humming with the noise of new mail dropping into it, letters full…

Friday 31 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: