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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I turned eighteen. Thinking I was going to get a big present from my parents on this special day, I eagerly unwrapped my present. They got me a bag of M and M's. Last year I got flannel bed sheets. FML

#6579645
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29297) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/03/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by bdaygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my very good friend ratted me out to my boss because I used the photocopier for personal use. He said he will always be my friend, but "rules are rules." FML

#6569085
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (8068)

On 12/02/2009 at 3:20pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally released my first music album. I dropped out of college to pay for it after my friends who liked my music urged me to. They keep telling me how much they love the CD. I've only sold one copy. Turns out they put it on a sharing site so only one of them would have to buy it. FML

#6546690
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33331) - you deserved it (13594)

On 12/01/2009 at 1:57am - misc - by Rob (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45623) - you deserved it (2971)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

#6532310
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29130) - you deserved it (3848)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

#6528264
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (12483)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff to "relieve ourselves". He peed and it came and hit me in the face, he did it on purpose. So, I decided to get him back and peed at him. The wind changed direction and hit me in the face again. FML

#6517380
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14371) - you deserved it (38756)

On 11/29/2009 at 5:53pm - misc - by Harry (man) - United States (California)

Today, Me and my girlfriend went and saw "The Blind Side." I sobbed throughout the entire movie. My girlfriend didn't shed a tear. FML

#6509087
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (14405)

On 11/29/2009 at 4:33am - love - by jimmyt420 (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (12060)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made out with a guy that I had just met at a party. It was my first kiss. I don't know what's worse, the fact that my first kiss is at the age of 23, or the fact that I saw him making out with a different girl later on in the night. FML

#6506969
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29841) - you deserved it (14715)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38168) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were gazing into each others' eyes in the moonlight after not having seen each other for a week. I thought he was going to say "I love you" and pull me in for a kiss. Instead, he said, "Since you can’t drive, we should get one of those two seater bicycles." FML

#6489348
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23030) - you deserved it (8555)

On 11/28/2009 at 1:32am - love - by tjcl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went shopping with some friends. We were tired from walking around the mall all night, so we decided to sit and relax at a table. I was about to close my eyes when I got smacked on the forehead by an orange falling from the second floor of the mall. FML

#6487982
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24988) - you deserved it (3422)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Orangehead (man) - United States (California)



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