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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

#6983853
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (5215)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:02am - health - by EgoMoose (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a box of chocolates as a present. A few hours later, he texted me saying that the box of chocolates contained nuts. He's allergic to nuts and his mother now thinks I'm trying to kill him. FML

#6965324
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21510) - you deserved it (10153)

On 12/26/2009 at 11:44pm - love - by Kelly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML

#6952293
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (3176)

On 12/26/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding the train home, and I sat in the row in front of a homeless woman. I noticed an old man staring at me. I got off the train after a long 6 stops, and the old man who had been staring at me walks up to me and says "The lady behind you was flicking lice onto you the whole time." FML

#6949420
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39475) - you deserved it (2205)

On 12/26/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML

#6946045
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25737) - you deserved it (2357)

On 12/25/2009 at 9:06pm - misc - by weeble_wobbles09 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was unloading things into a hotel. As I went to get a bag out in the hallway, the room door closed and I had no key. When I knocked and asked my family to let me back in, no one answered. The doors are clearly not soundproof. I could hear them debating whether or not to let me back in. FML

#6945734
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25374) - you deserved it (3594)

On 12/25/2009 at 8:50pm - misc - by RoxahTheGreat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (3375)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

#6937557
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (6924)

On 12/25/2009 at 11:15am - kids - by BathroomMuch (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

#6934352
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7441) - you deserved it (48775)

On 12/25/2009 at 3:10am - work - by harrassment101 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent christmas eve googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good christmas. FML

#6933145
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23083) - you deserved it (2942)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:25am - animals - by suuuuuupucci (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

#6931953
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25863) - you deserved it (2278)

On 12/25/2009 at 12:16am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got rejected by his dream college. In an effort to comfort him, I told him that he is incredibly smart and that it's their loss. He replied, "Of course you think so, you're an idiot!" FML

#6926430
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (4390)

On 12/24/2009 at 6:41pm - misc - by imamonster1992 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

#6917396
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (4881)

On 12/24/2009 at 4:35am - love - by busrides (man) - United States (California)



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