FMLs submitted from California

Today, it was our one year anniversary. After a surprise re-creation of our first date, we went home, in the mood for love. The food poisoning from the restaurant had a different idea. FML

by snarly1 / 01/03/2012 at 3:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I met my ex's new boyfriend. I was at work, cashiering at the movie theater that they were apparently having their first date at. We broke up less than 24 hours ago. FML

by TheBeastSwaq / 12/31/2011 at 12:09pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned how to use a fire extinguisher. Too bad it was on my brand new oven. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

by somewhatlucky / 12/27/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I was screaming at my neighbor to shut his dog up. After 30 minutes of bellowing, he yelled back that it was my dog that was barking. He was right. FML

by Yo mom / 12/27/2011 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my best friend won $1,000 in a photography contest. With a photo I took. FML

by Jessica / 12/26/2011 at 11:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

by Paige / 12/26/2011 at 1:35am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML

by AllergyRidden / 12/24/2011 at 5:05pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

by kaipodable / 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm / United States (California) / Animals