Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23164) - you deserved it (5002)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

#11694056
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (8464)

On 07/06/2010 at 5:16am - misc - by SOMAgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

#11628877
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29697) - you deserved it (9888)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9757) - you deserved it (31850)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10110) - you deserved it (30740)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9689) - you deserved it (24187)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (66096)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30827) - you deserved it (33911)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, I bought tickets for my friends and me to go to a concert. While I was in the shower, they ditched me and took my girlfriend. FML

#11463310
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you deserved it (4115)

On 06/25/2010 at 11:19pm - misc - by anyomous - United States (California)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (58835)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my younger sister had maxed out all three of my credit cards when I tried all three of the cards, and realized that I didn't have $5.29 to buy tampons and Advil. FML

#11387354
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34281) - you deserved it (4757)

On 06/22/2010 at 7:44pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my future father-in-law, a respectable New England gentleman, bought me an $8,000 viola and bow for our engagement. I was so surprised that I spit a glass of wine from a 60 year old bottle all over his custom-tailored suit. He was not happy. FML

#11325945
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26705) - you deserved it (11980)

On 06/20/2010 at 2:42am - misc - by Mr.Viola (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally got my first kiss. I was so excited, I pissed myself. FML

#11324047
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40266) - you deserved it (27182)

On 06/20/2010 at 1:12am - love - by PissyPants (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: