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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36474) - you deserved it (11874)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my younger brother's school to pick him up immediately. He had a test today and had the brilliant idea that by telling everyone he had head lice, he could go home. I had to leave work to pick him up, and now I have to take him to a doctor so they can verify he can go back. FML

#7570908
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (2195)

On 01/25/2010 at 4:24pm - kids - by joshua (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was ecstatic after spending the night with my longtime crush, when he told me he felt something. I poured my heart and soul out to him, confessing my love for him too. Unfortunately, he was referring to a lump in my left breast, which I now need to get checked out. FML

#7544484
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (4043)

On 01/24/2010 at 1:12pm - health - by LadyLump (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went down to my grandparents' house to spend some time with them. I was in the guest room when I noticed a box in the corner of the closet labelled "Crap". I opened up the box to see my Dad's John Elway Autographed Football in it. I got it for him for Christmas, it cost me $600. FML

#7536957
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27147) - you deserved it (2397)

On 01/24/2010 at 2:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10181) - you deserved it (21644)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)

Today, I came home to find my little sister had decided to play hopscotch under our carport. Feeling a small childish urge, I decided to hop on one leg to the front door. I tripped and fell, slicing my knee open. FML

#7525813
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12641) - you deserved it (18397)

On 01/23/2010 at 6:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML

#7515977
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23897) - you deserved it (3900)

On 01/23/2010 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML

#7508111
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14244) - you deserved it (24284)

On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my work. To urge people to be generous, I paid my friends to put 15 bucks in the tip jar while saying how great I was. He did this about ten times throughout the day. Turns out, us employees don't get to keep the tips. FML

#7486334
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9246) - you deserved it (23894)

On 01/21/2010 at 9:49pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML

#7470144
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (7030)

On 01/21/2010 at 5:47am - love - by uuuuugh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was bet 100 dollars that I couldn't break a piece off a brick with my head. I couldn't, and I have 2 gashes in my head now. FML

#7467254
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4249) - you deserved it (64318)

On 01/21/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML

#7453526
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23185) - you deserved it (4332)

On 01/20/2010 at 8:47am - misc - by hatesmellyfeet (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for the fifth time, and all I could say was: "Can I have my parking permit back?" FML

#7451699
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8060) - you deserved it (26920)

On 01/20/2010 at 2:33am - love - by mapollis (woman) - United States (California)



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