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FMLs submitted from California

Today, this guy who likes me accused me of cutting myself. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, "Don't lie, I saw those scars on your thighs when we went swimming." I have stretch marks on my inner thighs, and now I have to explain them to him so he doesn't think I cut myself. FML

#5940932
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30658) - you deserved it (2638)

On 10/22/2009 at 3:41am - misc - by tessykins - United States (California)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (5902)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my academic counselor to help me deal with my stress and anxiety, which has been making me nauseous from the constant strain. She suggested exercise to help these feelings. Every time I do so, I vomit. From the anxiety and stress. FML

#5932326
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21349) - you deserved it (4640)

On 10/21/2009 at 6:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie with my sister, my roommate, and my girlfriend. Half way through the movie, my girlfriend left the room and texted me that she was breaking up with me. She then came back in the room, sat on my bed, and enjoyed the rest of the movie with us. FML

#5924772
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37387) - you deserved it (2636)

On 10/21/2009 at 2:39am - love - by Small_Fry_Hero (man) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate revealed that the reason he's so grumpy is because he hasn't gotten laid in a year. I'm his only female friend, and the entire time he talked to me, he stared at my chest. FML

#5923040
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18027) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/20/2009 at 11:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

#5914745
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11453) - you deserved it (71338)

On 10/20/2009 at 4:17pm - misc - by jaxattax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

#5891764
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32102) - you deserved it (4966)

On 10/19/2009 at 2:40am - animals - by JC - United States (California)

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17609) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31208) - you deserved it (1876)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I left work at 11pm. It was cold and dark, and I was anxious to get home, so I cut across some soccer fields to get to my car. About halfway across, the sprinklers came on. FML

#5860815
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (7684)

On 10/17/2009 at 1:18am - work - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

#5851329
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26833) - you deserved it (1664)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - work - by devakii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35762) - you deserved it (2447)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML

#5847972
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25002) - you deserved it (7049)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Unlucky. (woman) - United States (California)



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