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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I hired somebody to send me love letters. I'm that lonely. FML

#11890639
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37410) - you deserved it (19127)

On 07/15/2010 at 1:19am - love - by lonely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

#11886380
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15556) - you deserved it (37292)

On 07/14/2010 at 10:37pm - love - by readytomingle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a friend's house. She has one of those automatic air fresheners, and I was amazed when it went off. To get a better look at it, I got real close to it. I saw a button and pressed it. The air freshener went off again, spraying nothing but my eye. FML

#11867771
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7416) - you deserved it (60611)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by Eyefreshener (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I made brownies for my co-workers. My boss called me into his office, and I though he was going to compliment me on the baking. Instead, he talked about how his 5-year-old daughter can make brownies better than me. FML

#11867757
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (5556)

On 07/14/2010 at 2:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents were ecstatic about sending me to an amazingly fun camp. I didn't know until I got there that it was a fat camp. FML

#11846674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36632) - you deserved it (12068)

On 07/13/2010 at 5:22am - misc - by Sally - United States (California)

Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML

#11811158
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (5002)

On 07/11/2010 at 2:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to put some streamers on my bike handles, even though I knew they would probably be stolen fairly quickly. I went into a restaurant to eat, and when I came out both my wheels were gone, but at least the streamers were still there. FML

#11694056
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (8464)

On 07/06/2010 at 5:16am - misc - by SOMAgirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the best and most entertaining part of my 3 day mini vacation was realizing my nipples work on the touch screen of my iPhone. FML

#11628877
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29699) - you deserved it (9888)

On 07/03/2010 at 2:49am - misc - by thesadone - United States (California)

Today, my dog is mad at me due to the fact that earlier in the day I ate 2 peanut butter cookies. Apparently, they were his dog treats. I had no idea. FML

#11624830
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9756) - you deserved it (31847)

On 07/03/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by peanuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

#11558883
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10109) - you deserved it (30731)

On 06/30/2010 at 4:04am - misc - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was home alone, and I thought I heard someone breaking in through the side gate at my house. I was terrified, so I called the police. It turned out it was the gas company checking the meter. FML

#11529694
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9688) - you deserved it (24185)

On 06/28/2010 at 11:18pm - misc - by itssdianaa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally dropped my cigarette down my shirt. There are now two unsightly, painful burns right in the center of my chest. FML

#11524663
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10422) - you deserved it (66089)

On 06/28/2010 at 7:37pm - health - by Pain (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30825) - you deserved it (33910)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)



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