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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

#11105211
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14536) - you deserved it (46525)

On 06/10/2010 at 3:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (6940)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend finally called me after a week of barely any communication. He wanted to talk to my brother about Call of Duty. FML

#10935757
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (5133)

On 06/03/2010 at 12:47am - love - by sincerely - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother bought a Shakeweight, an exercise tool which, basically, simulates a hand-job to tone arm fat. I get to watch my Grandmother do this motion for 6 minutes every day. FML

#10925224
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (4765)

On 06/02/2010 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by GrandmaShakers (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

#10903172
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (4628)

On 06/01/2010 at 5:49am - love - by staciedee - United States (California)

Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML

#10837564
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27208) - you deserved it (2482)

On 05/29/2010 at 8:11am - misc - by hulagirl1217 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML

#10827596
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33714) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/28/2010 at 7:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

#10788025
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (2894)

On 05/26/2010 at 10:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19892) - you deserved it (13177)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

#10750179
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26389) - you deserved it (4143)

On 05/25/2010 at 2:54am - love - by Ouchhh (man) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he started pretending he was a dog. This included barking, licking my face, and scratching his ears. FML

#10649271
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36025) - you deserved it (6155)

On 05/20/2010 at 2:32pm - intimacy - by kjdhfakjs (woman) - United States (California)



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