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FMLs submitted from California

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

#21191137
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40045) - you deserved it (7296)

On 06/28/2014 at 2:28am - health - by Madridsta - United States (California)

Today, I had to bite the bullet and finally buy maternity pants. Problem is, I'm not pregnant and I'm a 25-year-old man. FML

#21188382
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35422) - you deserved it (22220)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:19pm - health - by Roy Lawson - United States (California)

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML

#21187434
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43968) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

#21187114
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40325) - you deserved it (3460)

On 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm - misc - by sadbuttrue. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friend excitedly told me about the number of guys who are romantically interested in her. I realized how pathetic my life is when all I could talk about in turn was the number of coupons I got to use today at the store. FML

#21186709
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40801) - you deserved it (5019)

On 06/24/2014 at 2:38pm - love - by doubleCoupon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

#21186463
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44317) - you deserved it (4069)

On 06/24/2014 at 11:04am - misc - by lrn2road - United States (California)

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

#21185875
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51354) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, an attractive guy approached me and struck up a conversation. He was friendly and sweet, and gave me his number. As I walked away, my first thought was that someone had played a cruel joke on me. I've had such awful relationships that I can't recognize when someone is actually being sincere. FML

#21185830
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43805) - you deserved it (5871)

On 06/23/2014 at 9:56pm - love - by criley (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my clothes off for a shower at an RV campsite. I started running the water when I noticed there was a pack of hornets in the bathroom. I stood there, stark naked, waiting for a chance to get out, for four hours. FML

#21184935
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38697) - you deserved it (5087)

On 06/23/2014 at 1:41am - animals - by callmeclarence - United States (California)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51096) - you deserved it (5917)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

#21181955
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54088) - you deserved it (5290)

On 06/20/2014 at 2:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

#21180513
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46002) - you deserved it (7672)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:33am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML

#21180330
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39914) - you deserved it (6117)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:24am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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