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FMLs submitted from California

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

#21231132
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38905) - you deserved it (2878)

On 08/06/2014 at 6:18pm - kids - by whymyroomthough (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a video presentation. My video was on animal abuse, but I somehow played a video of myself singing Britney Spears in my room. FML

Today, I won a big raffle. However, my name is so ridiculous-sounding that they thought someone was playing a prank, and pulled a different ticket. I was too embarrassed to say anything. FML

#21227005
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39902) - you deserved it (11227)

On 08/01/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by infortunatename - United States (California)

Today, I spent my afternoon rummaging through old jeans and other pants, due to being broke and needing cash for ramen. FML

#21226442
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34769) - you deserved it (4382)

On 08/01/2014 at 1:33am - money - by baconistasty27 - United States (California)

Today, I received the $30 parking pass that I ordered over 4 weeks ago. My class is only 4 weeks long, and next week is the last week. FML

#21226277
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (3731)

On 07/31/2014 at 10:50pm - misc - by RiceSickle (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (4074)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while I was proposing. FML

#21223358
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53495) - you deserved it (7342)

On 07/28/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by rejected - United States (California)

Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML

#21222525
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33894) - you deserved it (2302)

On 07/27/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found my 6 year old daughter upstairs lying on the floor with scissors. She was giving "the carpet a haircut." FML

#21221737
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35195) - you deserved it (4590)

On 07/27/2014 at 1:51am - kids - by ... (woman) - United States (California)

Today, despite all of the empty seats on the bus, a man sat next to me. So close to me that our legs touched. After a few moments of silence, he got closer and whispered in my ear, "You're so quiet." FML

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

#21220439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45836) - you deserved it (3731)

On 07/25/2014 at 4:19pm - misc - by asshalf15 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got the, "It's not you, it's me" speech for the third breakup in a row. I'm beginning to think that they may not be entirely telling me the truth. FML

#21217897
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40705) - you deserved it (6363)

On 07/23/2014 at 12:09am - love - by swiggityswooty - United States (California)

Today, I was prepping for an interview after several months of unemployment. I had just finished brushing my teeth when I reached back and grabbed a towel behind me to wipe my face. Turns out it wasn't a towel, it was my newly dry-cleaned suit jacket that my wife had put there for me. FML

#21217564
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (8903)

On 07/22/2014 at 5:55pm - work - by Infadel - United States (California)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

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