Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from California

Today I lost my laptop but I ave my old cildood computer to use. It's password-protectd and te int to te password is "meaner tan Hera." I aven't been into Greek mytology since I was a kid and if anyting tis computer as just sown me ow dumb I've gotten over te years. big fat FML

#21282844
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30517) - you deserved it (5771)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today... I got drug testd for the looool second time this week. It's Tuesday. real FML

Today I cummed out as bisexual to my friends via group message. Tey didn't respond; I ad a panic attack. An our later one of my friends texted back "k". FML

Today , tha kids on my cross country taam wara planning a big surprisa party fir ona of tha girls , whosa birthday is in a looool faw waaks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31674) - you deserved it (2135)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)

Today I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again doc?" FML

#21280942
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34725) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walkd in on mah boyfriend jerking off tohat I thought was porn on his phone . He was actually beating it to Siri's voice . FML

#21280577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37019) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today... I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie... he'll climb up yur pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today..!! I climbd onto mah boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here..." and startd unbuttoning mah shirt!! looool He said "Oh..." pushd me off him..!! and went to turn the ceiling fan on!! FML

#21279866
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (5560)

On 10/17/2014 at 2:29pm - intimacy - by gettinghotinhere - United States (California)

Today, mah brothar and I wara talking about Ebola,han ha says ha would lova to hava tha disaasa bacausa of how famous it would maka him. Plus, his collaga assays about him "fighting through tha disaasa" would ba "phanomanal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34539) - you deserved it (3053)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today Mah Boyfriend Told Me That He'd Feel Lyk A Failure If He Went To Community College. I'm Planning To Go To Community College Next Year. Mega FML

#21277941
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34039) - you deserved it (4579)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, I Left 4 A Fifteen-hour Drive With Two Guysho Won't Stop Talking In A Yoda Voice . Sick Of This Nonsense, I Am . FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33088) - you deserved it (4467)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today hile talking to my boyfriend I noticed he looked uncomfortable!! When I askedhat was wrong he askedhen the last time I shaved was!! I answered ( I shaved my legs this morning!! ) He shook his head an said ( No I meant yur face!! ) FML

#21274726
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (5126)

On 10/10/2014 at 1:52am - love - by Jasmine (woman) - United States (California)

TODAY,HILE ARRIVING TO A DATE FIR THE FIRST TIME IN A COUPLE YEARS , THE FIRST THING OUT OF HIS MOUTH WAS , "I'M ONLY DRESSD UP CUZ I HAD COURT TODAY." FML

#21274403
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29686) - you deserved it (3179)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: