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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

#21133708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, my husband's cat died. He has resorted to calling me by her name to comfort himself. FML

#21132092
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40989) - you deserved it (4348)

On 05/06/2014 at 1:42am - animals - by catfriend - United States (California)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45116) - you deserved it (22549)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41720) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my wrists were hurting really bad while working the production line. I was told to let my supervisor know so he can help accommodate it. Both supervisors responded by ending my employment there to make sure I don't suffer long term damage. FML

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML

#21124338
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43232) - you deserved it (6047)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by Shit (man) - United States (California)

Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML

#21122645
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37911) - you deserved it (3882)

On 04/25/2014 at 11:40am - work - by kris - United States (California)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

#21119972
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36727) - you deserved it (4704)

On 04/22/2014 at 2:59pm - kids - by wah wah "you raised him" (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my mom cheating on my step-dad with my real dad. FML

Today, I realized that I get more mail addressed to the old tenant of my apartment than to me. He hasn't lived here in years. FML

#21116653
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32065) - you deserved it (3314)

On 04/18/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by you'vegotmail(not) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML

#21116561
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36706) - you deserved it (3760)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58157) - you deserved it (8259)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)



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