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FMLs submitted from California

Today, for the first time since I can remember, I went in to work feeling positive, and that I could make good things happen. At the end of the day, my employment was terminated. FML

#21292980
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/05/2014 at 9:03pm - work - by jobless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me that my mom wanted to name me something "unusual." He eventually got her to compromise. I go by Violet. I now know that my legal name is Purple. FML

#21292947
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37822) - you deserved it (2659)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Purple (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML

#21292946
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (3368)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer yelled at me because I gave her a wrinkled bag. I work in retail, and the bags are all cheap plastic. She wouldn't stop, even when I gave her 3 different bags. FML

#21292131
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30546) - you deserved it (2236)

On 11/04/2014 at 5:57pm - work - by kismet_fire (woman) - United States (California)

Today, army recruiters came to my school and set up some punching bags to attract potential recruits. I gave it a shot, managing to set the highest score at my school and fracture my wrist at the same time. FML

#21291962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (6554)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date. I didn't know that licking my neck was on the agenda. FML

#21291715
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29315) - you deserved it (2928)

On 11/04/2014 at 1:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML

#21291250
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (4620)

On 11/03/2014 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by EliseV (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having some "personal" time, I felt intense pleasure and moaned. I learned that my own moaning prevents me from reaching my peak. I'm my own turn off. FML

#21290790
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36474) - you deserved it (5837)

On 11/02/2014 at 8:31pm - intimacy - by SelfServiced - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. The words "Christ, Jeff. It's a vagina, not a burrito. CALM DOWN!" were spoken. FML

#21290417
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38591) - you deserved it (10862)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:36am - intimacy - by jay-frey96 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my daughter admitted to me that the only reason she's nice to me is because I give her money. She's six. FML

#21290277
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (4903)

On 11/02/2014 at 4:09am - kids - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was giving me a back massage while I was laying on my stomach. A few minutes into it, he stopped. I turned around to see why; he was taking a picture of my butt. FML

#21290182
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29421) - you deserved it (6464)

On 11/02/2014 at 12:51am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33907) - you deserved it (2828)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)



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