Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12329) - you deserved it (20801)
On 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm - love - by niki (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16631) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while talking to one of my parents' friends, we discovered that the house he grew up in is the same house my boyfriend now lives in. When he recalled that he lost his first tooth there, the only response I could come up with was, "Oh my gosh, I lost my virginity there!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9351) - you deserved it (35025)
On 01/03/2013 at 5:34am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31285) - you deserved it (2920)
On 01/02/2013 at 1:07am - animals - by catdog - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to a small fire on my roof, burning up small twigs and branches. The cause? Last night, I threw a sparkling firecracker up very high, only to have it blown onto my roof by the wind. It's going to take $2,000 to fix the damage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6831) - you deserved it (34288)
On 01/01/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (1981)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:13pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)
Today, I tried to be cute by sitting on top of my boyfriend's belly. While getting on top, I accidentally kneed him in his nuts. In pain, he jolted his head up and ended up banging his head against mine. Now I have a black eye and he can't walk without waddling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14310) - you deserved it (28138)
On 12/30/2012 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (2716)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43341) - you deserved it (2491)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42154) - you deserved it (3410)
On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my psycho grandma yelled at me for being an "immature brat" by not offering to wash the dishes after dinner. I reminded her that when I offered last time, she raged at me for being "condescending". She responded by faking a heart attack and getting me indefinitely grounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28086) - you deserved it (313)
On 12/25/2012 at 3:59pm - misc - by really mature, GRAN (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I opened my Christmas present from my parents. I got a road-side assistance package. I don't own a vehicle, and I don't even have a driver's license. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22885) - you deserved it (2189)
On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - misc - by CambodianAsshole (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44566) - you deserved it (7274)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
