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FMLs submitted from California

Today, my roommate broke into my spice cabinet so he could get high off of my nutmeg. FML

#21485980
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (1715)

On 10/29/2015 at 9:34pm - misc - by GonnaLockUpMySpices (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt flexible in my yoga class. I put my legs in the butterfly position and tried to press them down. Both my hips popped very painfully and I screamed in the middle of a quiet room. FML

#21485553
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/28/2015 at 6:18pm - misc - by MyLegsHurt - United States (California)

Today, it's been so long since I heard from him, I had to look at my boyfriend's Facebook page to see if we're still in a relationship. FML

#21485493
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21852) - you deserved it (4822)

On 10/28/2015 at 3:48pm - love - by feeling single - United States (California)

Today, I was supposed to start my vacation in Italy. I guess not everyone heard that I canceled it due to health problems, because this morning I caught two of my "friends" unplugging my TV after breaking into my house. FML

#21485404
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27243) - you deserved it (1628)

On 10/28/2015 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML

#21484236
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22507) - you deserved it (3294)

On 10/25/2015 at 3:00pm - health - by dancincherrychic - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if you complain to your mom about your future mother-in-law's bitchiness, your overprotective mom might confront her about it and end up punching her in the face. My fiancée blames me for the incident. FML

#21483651
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22603) - you deserved it (6889)

On 10/24/2015 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I spent 10 of our last $20 on pizza. Upon arriving home, I stepped out of the car and slipped on some mud, losing my balance and dropping the open box right into the mud. FML

Today, my classmate went into rage mode and cursed at me, complaining how it's so unfair that I'm allowed to wear a hijab in class but she isn't allowed to wear a Flamingo hat. FML

#21483299
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26205) - you deserved it (6049)

On 10/23/2015 at 4:17am - work - by idontmakethedresscode - United States (California)

Today, I had such a big hiccup that I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

Today, my two sons were fighting. I had to shout, "Give me that pillow" - the object over which they were quarrelling - and put them into two separate rooms. My sons are 12 and 15. FML

#21483019
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19834) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/22/2015 at 3:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband broke his toe after tripping over a dog toy. Instead of telling the doctors what happened, he said it was "sex related". I had to sit there, beet red with embarrassment, getting weird looks while he giggled to himself. FML

#21482952
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22314) - you deserved it (2296)

On 10/22/2015 at 10:47am - misc - by kinkyapparently (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at work, I had a crease in my pants. Everyone thought I had a boner. Later in the day, when I actually had one, no one could tell. FML

#21482505
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24811) - you deserved it (4394)

On 10/21/2015 at 7:18am - intimacy - by neilmalik - United States (California)

Today, it was my birthday. It was also the only day my family wanted to hold the graveside funeral for my grandmother who passed last week. FML

#21482416
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (2520)

On 10/21/2015 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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